Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday, June 23, 2017.                          
Weekend Thoughts on Aging…..(or U no U old when.) 
You start singing along with the elevator music.
You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
Your car has four doors.
You routinely check the oil in your car.
You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve gone back into style – TWICE.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in”.
You don’t remember when you got that mole or the one next to it.
You write thank you notes without being told.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”
Others ask for your recipes.
You start Christmas shopping in August.
You paint your apartment walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
You don’t like to drive after dark.
You say the words, “Turn that music down!”
You wear black socks with sandals.
You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
You point out what buildings used to be where.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
You rake the yard without being told to.
You can’t remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
At the breakfast table you hear “snap, crackle, pop” and you’re not eating cereal.
Your back goes out but you stay home.
When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Father’s Day cards fit into four major categories: golf, fishing, barbecue, beer.
And beer. And beer. And beer. What kind of message is this? ‘Dad, you are a
potbellied drunk and we’re sending you to rehab after you finish mowing the lawn.’
We need to mix it up a little. Either the cards need to change, or we do.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Two Australian farmers recently created a kind of vodka made from carrots. It’s the best
thing that’s ever happened to rabbit bachelorette parties.” -Seth Meyers
“More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos.
Researchers say it’s due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out.
When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘I suppose you’ll use this drama to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man who comes to this house.’
ANSWER: The Ref! That Lloyd is one crazy character.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘Let’s look at this from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the space craft that’s good?’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
What phrase is hidden here?
Genie’s Gift
Skydiving Elvis
ANSWER: Wish upon a falling star. Genie’s Gift = A Wish

Skydiving (falling) Elvis (Star)


Friday’s Quizzler is……….   
In this teaser you are to try and discover the quotation concealed in the lines.
The quote has been broken up into two-letter fragments. Furthermore, I have
removed any punctuation and jumbled the two-letter fragments about so the word
order has been disarranged. You have to rearrange the quotation and decide where
the words begin and where they end. Good luck!
he fo ay od if et ve pl on of mu si cb lo
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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