Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday, July 10, 2017.                           
Physics #101…………
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A company in New York City has opened what some are calling a nonalcoholic cocktail bar that creates drinks using lemons and herbal ingredients instead of alcohol. And this is cool – they’re using empty chairs instead of customers.” -Seth Meyers
“On Monday in Vermont, a barrel of maple syrup fell off a truck and spilled all over the
highway. Luckily, it broad-sided a French toast truck.” -Conan O’Brien
“The Baltimore airport just got a gym where you can work out while you wait for a flight. Finally combining the two things Americans love most – waiting in airports and exercise.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer. It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.
I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how my weight gain over the years of our marriage should have the same effect: It made me seem more valuable and also made me harder for other women to steal.
She’s still laughing.😐
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“I’ll have what she’s having…”
ANSWER: When Harry Met Sally! Starring Meg Ryan (Sally), Billy Crystal (Harry),
and Carrie Fisher (Marie). A lady in the restaurant says this after Sally’s ‘performance’. 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“Take that one back…”


Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
I am periodically the number 79. Long ago some attempted to make me
from 29, but learned it couldn’t be done. If you add me to 80 I appear to be 47 temporarily.
What am I?
ANSWER: Gold! Gold is represented by the number 79 on the Periodic table of elements.
Long ago alchemists tried to make gold from copper.(number 29) If you add gold to mercury
(number 80) it will appear to be silver for a time.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….   
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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