Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, July 20, 2017.   
What Women Say (And What They Mean)
 
ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of “those” arguments.
FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.
NOTHING: This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and will end with the word “Fine”.
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine”, and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over “Nothing”.
SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sigh” means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say “you’re welcome”.
THANKS A LOT: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from social media over the weekend,
after users compared the character to their president. Though it seems like it would just be easier
to just get their president to put some pants on.” -Seth Meyers
“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems.
Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the economy
like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks a little odd, so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid.
Husband: Well, don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, you saw the baby had pooped
his diaper. Then you said: Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here. So I went inside,
got a clean one and left the messy one there.😐😱😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“Truth is, I help horses with people problems.”
ANSWER: The Horse Whisperer! Starring Robert Redford (Tom), Kirsten Scott Thomas (Annie),
and Scarlett Johansson (Grace). When first introduced to Annie and Grace, Tom says this about his job.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“Maybe there won’t be marriage, maybe there won’t be sex, but by God there’ll be dancing!”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
In this teaser you are to try and discover the quotation concealed in the lines. The quote has
been broken up into two-letter fragments. Furthermore, I have removed any punctuation and
jumbled the two-letter fragments about so the word order has been disarranged. You have to
rearrange the quotation and decide where the words begin and where they end. Good luck!
he fo ay od if et ve pl on of mu si cb lo
ANSWER: If music be the food of love, play on.  Shakespeare, (Twelfth Night)
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….    
In each sentence a word is concealed, such as the word no in sentence five. If you can find the buried words and read them in order from 1 to 6, they will form a well-known proverb.
1.The word buried here has only one letter.
2.Did you find a jelly roll in Gaskin’s Bakery?
3.It’s the best one I’ve ever seen.
4.The rug at her stairway was made in India.
5.He’s an old friend.
6.Amos sold his bicycle to a friend.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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