Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Funny-Monday-Meme-300x300
WELCOME to Monday, July 31, 2017.                               
This Strange English Language…….
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
“Two ATMs here in New York were shut down for dispensing counterfeit money.
People were suspicious after one guy kept asking, ‘Hey, can you break a 23?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A study has found that the most popular type of business in New Jersey is golf equipment stores. Though most customers come in and say, ‘I need a blunt object and a bag about as big as a guy.'” -Seth Meyers
“Scientists believe the first modern Europeans mated with Neanderthals.
This is the oldest evidence yet of beer goggles.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him.
When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her.
She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.😁😎
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 “Obviously, Doctor, you have never been a thirteen year old girl.”
ANSWER: The Virgin Suicides! Starring Kirsten Dunst (Lux), Josh Hartnett (Trip), and
Hanna Hall (Cecilia). After attempting to commit suicide, Cecilia Lisbon says this to the doctor
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 “One and two and three and four and Wat doesn’t lead he follows like a girl.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
What is the meaning of this rebus?
marcus Brutus
john wilkes Booth
Billy the kid
Bonnie parker
clyde Barrow
ANSWER: Killer Bees (these people are all murderers, and each has “B” for an initial)

Friday’s Quizzler is……….    
Welcome to Crazy Cooking Catastrophes.
Today our host has decided to mix up an appetizer creature feature.
Please follow these instructions carefully to unscramble [pun totally intended] the answer.
Cooking Tips:
Words like add, combine, stir in, etc mean to add those letters to the mix.
Words like remove, drain, none left over, etc. mean to remove those letters from the mix.
If you combine a PEAR and sugar in a BOWL, then add in a BOAR and take a BOW:
What creature will be in your bowl?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS. NICE WORK BANKS! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙇
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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