WELCOME to Tuesday, August 1, 2017.
Mothers In History…..
Michelangelo’s Mother: Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
Paul Revere’s Mother: I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.
Mona Lisa’s Mother: After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?
George Washington’s Mother: The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye.
Mary’s Mother: I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.
Columbus’s Mother: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written.
Napoleon’s Mother: All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.
Thomas Edison’s Mother: Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed.
Abraham Lincoln’s Mother: Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?
Albert Einstein’s Mother: But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?
An extra laugh for posterity: Jonah’s Mother: That’s a nice story. Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last forty years.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…“The owner of a clown motel in Nevada is looking to sell it. The clown motel is like any other motel, except it only has one parking spot.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A company has created a line of non-alcoholic wines for cats containing catnip, water,
and organic beet juice for owners who want to drink with their pets. Said the cats,
“Yeah, I’d love to, but I actually have a thing tonight.'” -Seth Meyers
“A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza.
The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents’ private conversations.
One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
“Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“One and two and three and four and Wat doesn’t lead he follows like a girl.”
ANSWER: A Knight’s Tale! Starring Heath Ledger (William), Paul Bettany (Chaucer), and
Alan Tudyk (Wat). When teaching William to dance, Chaucer says this to Wat, who is leading.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“So, what did you do in school today?” “Well, I broke in my purple clogs.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Welcome to Crazy Cooking Catastrophes.
Today our host has decided to mix up an appetizer creature feature.
Please follow these instructions carefully to unscramble [pun totally intended] the answer.
Words like add, combine, stir in, etc mean to add those letters to the mix.
Words like remove, drain, none left over, etc. mean to remove those letters from the mix.
If you combine a PEAR and sugar in a BOWL, then add in a BOAR and take a BOW:
What creature will be in your bowl?
ANSWER: Polar Bear
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am the world’s greatest traveler. I have been transported by camel, dog sled, pony express, bicycle ,train, steamship, automobile/car, airplane, airship, and rocket. I have portraits of presidents, kings, queens, princes, princesses, shahs, sultans, tribal chiefs, adventurers, explorers, patriots, martyrs, inventors, pioneers, artists, musicians, architects, poets, aviators, dramatists, novelists, painters, athletes, cardinals, saints, and sinners. I have pictures of foreign beaches, rivers, lakes, sounds, waterfalls, geysers, mountains, monuments, castles, temples and ruins of temples, missions, bridges, harbors, docks, locks, locomotives/trains, balloons, rockets, zeppelins, windjammers, native canoes, modern seaplanes, and the world.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/