Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday, August 18, 2017.         
Southern medical terminology….. 
  1. Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport.
 2. Tumor – More than one.
 3. Cauterize – Made eye contact with her.
 4. Nitrates – Cheaper than day rates.
 5. Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis.
 6. Barium – What doctors do when patients die.
 7. Dilate – To live long.
 8. Benign – What you be after you be eight.
 9. Genital – Non-Jewish person.
10. Node – I knew it.
11. Morbid – A higher offer than I bid.
12. Seizure – Roman emperor.
13. Labor Pain – Getting hurt at work.
14. Enema – Not a friend.
15. Tablet – A small table.
16. Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane.
17. Secretion – Hiding something
18. Hangnail – What you hang your coat on.
19. Impotent – Distinguished, well known.
20. Varicose – Near by/close by😁
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops.
On my desk, I have a work station…
You can’t be late until you show up.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and
the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the
bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime,
and crime doesn’t if you keep reading, you’ll go broke
Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin
bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.”
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can’t handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.”😁



Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“I’d like to thank the academy…Thank you, thank you.”
ANSWER: Drive Me Crazy! This was when Nicole and Chase were leaving the basketball game.
Nicole was impressed with how well Chase acted as if he was really a part of her group.


Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“You know the problem with being smart? You know everything in advance, there’s no suspense in life.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter
(each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.
1a) an Old Norse poem
1b) a wheel spoke
1c) an unusually small animal
2a) to give way
2b) a pasture
2c) to handle
3a) a small territorial division of a country
3b) an artillery piece
3c) a deep valley with high steep sides
4a) a hut
4b) to strike with surprise or horror
4c) a husk
ANSWER: 1) rune, rung, runt   2) yield, field, wield   3) canton, cannon, canyon   4) shack, shock, shuck


Friday’s Quizzler is……….    
What is this well known phrase?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


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