Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday, August 22, 2017.          

You know you older when……..

 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

 2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

 3. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

 4. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

 6. You watch the weather channel.

 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those

#%$@! kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time taco bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog science diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

“Twenty-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has been accepted to Oxford University. When she puts her Nobel Prize on the shelf, her roommate will quietly put away all her youth soccer trophies.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Some schools are giving kids an Eclipse Day, a day off, because they’re worried teachers might not be able to protect their eyes. These kids haven’t looked up from their phones since January.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“In Washington, D.C., yesterday, vandals spray-painted graffiti on the Lincoln Memorial.
Historians are calling it the second worst thing to ever happen to Abraham Lincoln.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, “You’ll know you’re really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French.”
Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, “Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!”
“Great!” said the teacher; “what were they saying?”
“I don’t know,” Dewey replied; “I couldn’t understand a word they were saying.”😐


Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me ‘Did I miss anything.’ Gates gets killed, you say ‘Did I miss anything.
‘ I bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at the Ford Theatre and said ‘How was the show? Did I miss anything?'”
ANSWER: Hudson Hawk! This a conversation between Hudson and Tommy after Tommy walks into the room and says “did I miss anything?”. 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“‘To see your world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower. To hold infinity in the palm of your hand, an eternity in an hour.’ William Blake.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….   
Find five geographical terms by adding one of the given letters to each word and rearranging the letters. Each letter will be used only once.
1. Steep + ? =
2. Raven + ? =
3. Store + ? =
4. Along + ? =
5. Serge + ? =
ANSWER: 1. Steppe   2. Ravine   3. Forest   4. Lagoon  5. Geyser

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….    
Which letter comes next in the series?
S, M, H, D, W, M, ?
Pick from:
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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