Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday, August 23, 2017.          

Funny Headlines……….. 

1. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
 2. Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
 3. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
 4. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
 5. Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
 6. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
 7. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
 8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
 9. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
10. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
11. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
12. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
13. Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
14. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16. Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
17. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
18. If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

1. Any idiot can face a crisis – its the day to day living that wears you out.
2. Everything has been figured out. Except how to live.
3. Life is like a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can spend it only once.
4. Be nice to people on your way up, because you will need them on your way down.
5. Hope life is not a big joke, because I do not get it.
6. Life is like a taxi, the meter just keeps ticking whether you are getting somewhere or standing still.
7. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment
8. Life isn’t worth living unless you’re willing to take some big chances and go for broke
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”😎


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“‘To see your world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower. To hold infinity in
the palm of your hand, an eternity in an hour.’ William Blake.”
ANSWER: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider! This is one of Lara’s quotes that she repeats throughout the movie. The effects in this movie were pretty good. If you haven’t seen the movie, or played the game, I’d suggest seeing it for (if nothing else) the effects.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“You know the part in horror movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates him for it? This is it.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….   
Which letter comes next in the series?
S, M, H, D, W, M, ?
Pick from:
ANSWER: Y  Second  Minute  Hour  Day  Week  Month  Year  

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….    

These seemingly “nonsense” words have pairs of opposites in them. For example:
lshoorntg would be “Long /Short” (LshOorNtG). If you’ve noticed, the letters in the words are always in the same order. Get the idea? Great! Now try these!
1) Wfateirer
2) Grsokuynd
3) Rpoiocrh
4) Frbeoiezle
5) Ppenecinl
6) Wmaomnan
7) Ldaigrhkt
8) Ounvderer
9) Cdilreatny
10) Riwrgohngt

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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