Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday, August 25, 2017.           
Southern medical terminology 2……

  1. Colic – A sheep dog.
2. Catscan – Searching for Kitty.
3. D&C – Where Washington is.
4. Coma – A punctuation mark.
5. Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome.
6. G.I.Series – World Series of military baseball.
7. Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery.
8. Fester – Quicker than someone else.
9. Post Operative – A letter carrier.
10. Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
11. Outpatient – A person who has fainted.
12. Fibula – A small lie. 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” -Donald Trump”😐


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?” “Playing a game,” the boy replied. “What is your name?” the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.” Furious the policeman inquired, “Are you looking for trouble?!” The boy replied, “Why, yes.”😎


Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘That bowling ball said ‘hoof’ to that darn windshield!’
ANSWER: Dazed and Confused! This was said after Mitch threw the bowling ball out of the car.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘I’m the Milky Way Man and I know everything!’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
After some relaxing, the Seekers of Knowledge received a gift from an anonymous person. The gift was a magical scroll case that had 12 gemstones on it. The Seekers were a bit shocked at the elegance of the scroll case as they knew it was very expensive.
There was a catch with it. They had no idea how to open it. As they looked over the scroll case with amazement, suddenly a magic mouth appeared before them and said, “The code to open this scroll case is hidden within the stones; you must press each stone in the proper order to open it.” The magic faded out.
The stones are in this order on the scroll case: Turquoise, Diamond, Opal, Aquamarine, Topaz, Emerald, Moonstone, Garnet, Sapphire, Amethyst, Ruby, Peridot.
ANSWER: After some thought, they knew how to open the scroll case. They pressed the stones in this order: Garnet, Amethyst, Aquamarine, Diamond, Emerald, Moonstone, Ruby, Peridot, Sapphire, Opal, Topaz, Turquoise. They are all birthstones, and in the order of the months: January, February, March and so on.



Friday’s Quizzler is……….    

Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).
1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at

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