Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 31, 2017.            
Thursday’s Pondering……… 
What’s another word for thesaurus?
What would we have called the color orange if it wasn’t a fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Just “before” someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.
You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Today is national dog day. Dogs, as you’re probably aware, were widely
considered to be man’s best friend, until 2007 when the iPhone was invented to replace it.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study claims that first grade students are getting three times more homework
than they should be doing. This is coming from the lead researcher, ‘Timmy.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk
of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car
needing a new fender and some door repairs.  I spent hours doing a perfect job,
but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn’t pleased.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching,
uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation.
“The repairs were to the other side,” I noted.😐

  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘I’m the president of the United States and I can do anything I want!’
ANSWER: Where the Buffalo Roam! The character says this as he walks in wearing a Richard Nixon mask.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘I love this mansion though it’s too many windows. . . to open half-way each morning, to close half-way each night.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
In this teaser, your job is to try and discover the car model within each sentence.
The model is hiding in the consecutive letters within a sentence.
Example: This recipe calls for only one onion.
Answer: Neon (oNE ONion)
1. The zookeeper gave the chimp a large banana.
2. The police had the home of the pyromaniac cordoned off.
3. There are galactic areas where our starship has not travelled.
4. Do math majors find people with a nice compass attractive?
5. I once saw a gambler from Mexico roll a seven five times in a row.
 
ANSWER: 1. Impala (chIMP A LArge)  2. Accord (pyromaniAC CORDoned)  3. Regal (aRE GALactic)

4. Passat (comPASS ATtractive)  5.Corolla (MexiCO ROLL A)

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….    

What phrase is this?
itsits diediediedie
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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