Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

19zfnc
WELCOME to Friday, September 1, 2017.            
 Weekend Pondering…..
Don`t think that you`re thinking. If you think that you’re thinking you only think that you’re thinking.
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?
Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not adoor?
Ever wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?
If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?
Being rich and it don’t mean so much . Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. Wouldnt a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!
Mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?
People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. What are they doing? Cramming for finals?
Old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
Did Adam ever said to Eve, “Watch it! There are plenty more ribs where you came from!”
I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Everyone has a photographic memory. But some folks don’t have film.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. 😐
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
1. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life
2. Divorce – the past tense of marriage.
3. A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
4. A man does not know what happiness is, until he is married. By then it is too late.
5. Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
6. Why get married and make one miserable, when I can stay single and make thousands miserable.
7. Successful marriage depends on two things – finding the right person and being the right person.
8. Love may be blind but marriage is an eye opener.
9. Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
11. My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. “Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?” The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”😐

  

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘I love this mansion though it’s too many windows. . . to open half-way each morning, to close half-way each night.’
ANSWER: The Basketball Diaries! This is a voice-over said by Jim when he’s writing in his journal.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘You’ve reached the winter of our discontent.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
What phrase is this?  itsits diediediedie
ANSWER: It’s to die for! itsits = its two = it’s to  diediediedie = die four = die for
This idiom refers to something that is greatly desired.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….    

Which one of the following does not belong with the others?
Binoculars, eyeglasses, goggles, handlebars, jeans, pliers, scissors, shoes, tweezers
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s