Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

austin-powers-labor-day
WELCOME to Thursday, September 7, 2017.                
Funny Legal Definitions:
Affidavit –Davit is first in line. You’re second.
Assault – usually paired with a pepper
Bribe – married to a Groom
Caveat emptor – time to fill up the caveat
Contempt – offering candy to a prison inmate
Contract – acreage owned by a prisoner
Defamation – advice from someone who is hearing impaired
Ex parte – My former husband is a party animal.
Hung jury – Those guys are studs!
Malpractice – what Mal, the doctor, does
Miranda warning – Stay off your porch!
Misdemeanor – daughter of Mr. Demeanor
Mistrial – when you oversleep and are late to court
Oath – what we feed the horsey
Order in the Court – See what the judge will have.
Paralegals – two attorneys
Parole – the way your dad should act
Plaintiff – not a fancy fight
Probate – stuff that really catches fish
Pro bono – when you prefer Sonny over Cher
Rescind – what you do when your first email doesn’t go through
Retainer – Hire her now!
Statutes – created by artists
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“According to a new survey, about half of the world thinks kissing is gross.
That half is known as ‘married people.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A man set a new world record after kicking himself in the head 134 times in
one minute. He broke the previous record of zero.” -Conan O’Brien
“A winery in France is currently facing a rose shortage. For those of you not
familiar with these terms, a winery is a group of women who have run out of rose.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.
Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, “What do you have in your pocket?”
“Tennis ball,” the man said, smiling back.
“Wow!” said the woman looking upset. “That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!”😐

  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Two permits do not equal a license!’
ANSWER: Clueless! Cher’s dad tells her this after telling her she’s not supposed to drive anywhere. 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘I’m sorry. If you were right I would agree with you.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
Can you identify what phrase is represented here?
nasmetofolopve
ANSWER: na S me T of O lo P ve = Stop, in the name of love!

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….    

See if you can figure out these words using the clues listed below. Each word ends with “BOARD”. Please note that numbers 4 and 5 are two separate words. Have fun!
1) Used with telephones
2) A place to advertise
3) Right-side of ship
4) Found around water
5) Old-time cars had two
6) Computers need them
7) College professor’s headgear
8) Used in the Old West
 TODAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌🙏
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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