Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday, September 8, 2017.     
Here’s the story…………. 
I had just stopped by a burger drive-through for lunch to eat on the way back to work
and I ordered the #1 combo (burger, fry, coke) for $4.29.
The drive-through cashier said “that’ll be $4.83, please drive forward.”
“$4.83? For a $4.29 meal? That’s 54 cents tax! That can’t be right,” my mind raced. Tax is 8 cents on the dollar in Huntsville and for 4 dollars that would be 32 cents plus 1/3 of 8 cents would be 35 cents max. I’d heard of window workers overcharging drive through customers and skimming the money for themselves. So I got a pen and paper and did the long division since there were 2 cars ahead of me.
Let’s see … 483/429 … over 12 percent tax! When I got to the window I handed her a 5 and said, “$4.83 for a $4.29 meal is 12 percent tax. That can’t be right. Can I talk to the manager?” She gave me my change and called the manager.
The manager comes over and I ask what the sales tax is in Huntsville, and she says 8 percent. I say that I just paid $4.83 for a $4.29 meal and that’s over 12 percent sales tax.
She said that maybe the computer had rung it up wrong or had charged me for the biggie size. She admitted it was supposed to be 4.63, and opened the drawer to give me my extra change.
“HA!” I thought to myself. “Six years engineering school has so heightened my mental mathematical adeptness that I can do percentages in my head and my superior intellect has foiled a feeble attempt by a drive-through worker to overcharge me.”
I took the twenty cents she handed me, proud of my staggering genius, and smugly drove off without my food.😐
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES...
“Labor Day, in case you don’t know history, was established all the way back in
1894 as a way to give Americans an extra day to dread going back to work after the weekend.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier fish
in order to look more attractive. However, scientists could not identify which sorority it belongs to.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Nintendo recently announced that its character Mario is no longer a plumber.
Apparently, he was fired after coming to work on mushrooms.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
One morning, I was roaming the aisles of my local supermarket, looking for items on my shopping list and wondering why the graham crackers aren’t ever put in the cracker section. In my futile search, I kept running into a guy I’d never seen before. He was wandering up and down the aisles, with an equally lost look on his face.
Somewhere between the pasta and sauces, he looked up at me and said, “I can’t find a darned thing in this store!” I knew how he felt, so I asked, “What is it you’re looking for?”
He said, “My wife.”😎
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘I live my life like a French movie.’
ANSWER: Singles! Bailey tells this to Steve on their way to the club after showing
him that he can store numbers in his watch.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘You’re never gonna be Jello!’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
I am a chemical symbol for an element.
This element was discovered in 1824.
I am a Spanish word without the accent.
Reverse me so I become a form of a common verb.
What symbol am I?
ANSWER: Si. (silicon) Silicon was discovered in 1824. “Si” with an accent means “yes” in Spanish. Reverse it to become “is”, which is a form of the verb “be”.
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Head and shoulders sculpture -> Large vehicle
2. Vision -> Audibly let out breath from sorrow
3. Idea; mental process -> However
4. Unable to remember -> Create by hammering; counterfeit
5. Something that happens -> Level; balanced
6. Portion; divide -> Average or normal amount
7. Light hit in golf -> Place in a location
8. Light hit in baseball -> Small bread loaf
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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