Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, September 12, 2017.                  
Light Hearted Funny Marriage Notions Worth Remembering…
1. The matrimonial pollsters contend their studies indicate the man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn’t do that thing. Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus higher earners, it’s believed.
2. The heart is the most common symbol of romantic love. Ancient cultures believed the human soul lived in the heart. Others thought it to be the source of emotion and intelligence. Some believed the heart embodied a man’s truth, strength and nobility. The heart may be associated with love because the ancient Greeks believed it was the target of Eros, known as Cupid to the Romans. Anyone shot in the heart by one of Cupid’s arrows would fall hopelessly in love. Because the heart is so closely linked to love, it’s red color is thought to be the most romantic.
3. To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right shut up. – Ogden Nash.
4. Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done.
5. Marriage is an institution where two people come together to joint solve the problems they never had before they got married.
6. The alleged most commonly used words of endearment: Honey (48%), Baby (44%), Sweetheart (41%), Dear (39%), Lover (32%), Darling (31%), Sugar (24%), Angel (20%), Pumpkin (13%), Beautiful (6%).
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES...
“Year, (noun) A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.” –Ambrose Bierce’s DEVIL’S DICTIONARY
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.” –Mark Twain
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re
going and hook up with them later.” -Mitch Hedberg
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice. He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
“Put two drops in R ear every four hours.” 😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘You’re never gonna be Jello!’
ANSWER: My Best Friend’s Wedding! Julia Roberts says this to Cameron Diaz when she’s trying to explain that her fiance wants ‘Jello’ instead of some fancy dessert.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Head and shoulders sculpture -> Large vehicle
2. Vision -> Audibly let out breath from sorrow
3. Idea; mental process -> However
4. Unable to remember -> Create by hammering; counterfeit
5. Something that happens -> Level; balanced
6. Portion; divide -> Average or normal amount
7. Light hit in golf -> Place in a location
8. Light hit in baseball -> Small bread loaf
ANSWER:  1. Bust -> Bus  2. Sight -> Sigh  3. Thought -> Though  4. Forget -> Forge  5. Event -> Even  6. Part -> Par

7. Putt -> Put  8. Bunt -> Bun

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
023456789 lives ever ever ever ever
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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