Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 13, 2017.                  
More Pondering………. 
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren’t we clean when we use them?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If money doesn’t make us happy, then what does it do?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If ours is a man made world, why can’t we remake it?
When people say “I woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” What side is the right side?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
When Puerto Rico joins the union, where will they put the 51st star?
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES...
“Never learn to do anything: if you don’t learn, you’ll always find someone else to do it for you.” –Mark Twain
“You can’t find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.” –Carrie Fisher
“Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.”
–Elmer G. Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the
first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard
him mutter, “Hoover!” under his breath.
On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water
hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time.
On the third hole, a miracle occured & Fr. Murphy’s drive
landed on the green only six inches from the hole! “Praise
be to God!”
He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around
the hole instead of going in. “HOOVER!”
By this time, his opponent couldn’t withhold his curiosity
any longer, and asked why the priest said “Hoover”.
“It’s the biggest dam I know.” he replied. 😁
Tueday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.’
ANSWER: Say Anything! Diane broke up with Lloyd and he spends the night driving around in the pouring rain. He says this on the phone to his sister.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘I can’t believe in someone who doesn’t believe in me.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….  
023456789 lives ever ever ever ever
ANSWER: No one lives forever.

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Each clue below is for two words that differ by only one letter: The letter has been either added to the beginning or the end of the word – all the rest are in the same order. In the “hint” you will see the lengths of the words, in the proper order.
For example “Writing on the wall of Noah’s boat (3,4)” would result in “Ark Mark”. Can you get the rest?
1. Complaint about a golf club part.
2. Insect being angry and vocal.
3. Angry buccaneer.
4. The second of the two dishes you mentioned.
5. Scrawny unidentified object.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙏🙏🙏🙇🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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