Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, September 14, 2017.                  
 

The Message:School Answering Machine - Joke or True?

‘Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.  In order to assist you in connecting to the right member of staff, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

  • To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1
  • To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work – Press 2
  • To complain about what we do – Press 3
  • To swear at staff members – Press 4
  • To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your Newsletter and several letters posted to you – Press 5
  • If you want us to bring up your child – Press 6
  • If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7
  • To complain about school lunches – Press 8
  • To complain about bus transport – Press 9

LASTLY:

If you realize this is the real world, and your child must be accountable and responsible for their own behavior, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a really wonderful day! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...
“A Stanford study suggests that social media is making us smarter. They examined hundreds of  essays written by college freshmen between 1917 and 2006. By 2016, the papers were longer, better researched, and more complex. That’s because kids in 2016 cut and pasted them from Wikipedia.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“NASA is sending chocolate to astronauts on the International Space Station. I guess it makes sense I mean, it’s not like those guys have to watch their weight. “Nope, still zero pounds.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that
middle age begins the first time you eat at a Denny’s while sober.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A Sunday School teacher wanted to use squirrels as an example of a diligent work ethic and being prepared. She started the lesson by saying, “I’m going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is.” The children were excited to show her what they knew and leaned forward eagerly.
“I’m thinking of something that lives in trees and eats nuts.” No hands went up. “It can be gray or brown and it has a long bushy tail.” The children looked around the room at each other, but still no one raised a hand.
“It chatters and sometimes it flips its tail when it’s excited?”
Finally one little boy shyly raised his hand. The teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Okay, Michael. What do you think it is?”
“Well,” said the boy, “I know the answer’s supposed to be Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.”😎
Wedneday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘I can’t believe in someone who doesn’t believe in me.’
ANSWER: Pretty in Pink! Molly Ringwald’s character says this to Andrew McCarthy.
At the end of the movie he tells her he always believed in her.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Now, class…be quiet and pay attention! If I have to tell you one more time…’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….  
Each clue below is for two words that differ by only one letter: The letter has been either added to the beginning
or the end of the word – all the rest are in the same order. In the “hint” you will see the lengths of the words, in the proper order.
For example “Writing on the wall of Noah’s boat (3,4)” would result in “Ark Mark”. Can you get the rest?
1. Complaint about a golf club part.
2. Insect being angry and vocal.
3. Angry buccaneer.
4. The second of the two dishes you mentioned.
5. Scrawny unidentified object.
ANSWER: 1. Grip Gripe  2. Ant Rant  3. Irate Pirate  4. Latter Platter  5. Thin Thing
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Boy: Can I dig a hole?
Dad: Well sure, why not?
Boy: Can I climb a tree?
Dad: Yes, sir!
Boy: Can I jump off the roof?
Dad: Of course!
Boy: Can I fly in the sky?
Dad: Yes, son, you can!
Boy: Can I go into space?!
Dad: Erm. No, I’m sorry, son. You can’t do that.😎
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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