Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

exodus-wear-top-memes-for-medical-students-think-i-do
WELCOME to Wednesday, November 15, 2017.                       
The New 2017 Medical Dictionary……
Artery, n. The study of paintings.
Bacteria, n. The back door of a cafeteria.
Barium, n. What doctors recommend when their patients die.
Benign, adj. What you be after you be eight.
Caesarean section, np. High-rent area in Rome.
Cat scan, np. A search for kitty.
Cauterize, v. Made eye contact with her.
Colic, n. A breed of sheep dog.
Coma, n. A punctuation mark of consciousness.
Dilate, v. To live a long life.
Disaster, vp. What happened to the lady who backed into a propellor
Fibula, n. A small lie.
Impotent, adj. Distinguished, well known.
Labor pain, np. The result of a work injury.
Medical Staff, np. A doctor’s walking cane.
Morbid, adj. A higher offer.
Nitrates, npl. A price cheaper than day rates.
Node, v. Past tense of knew.
Outpatient, n. A person who has fainted.
Pelvis, n. Elvis’s second cousin.
Postoperative, n. A mailman or letter carrier.
Recovery room, np. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum, v. Nearly killed him.
Secretion, n. A hiding place.
Seizure, n. An alcoholic Roman emperor.
Tablet, n. A small table.
Terminal illness, np. Airport sickness.
Tumor, n. One more than one more.
Urine, vp. Where you are when you aren’t out.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday 
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 

“A Japanese company created a $150 noise-canceling ramen fork to cover up slurping
noises. So, if you’ve got 150 bucks to spend on a fork – why are you eating ramen?” -Jimmy Fallon
“A fast food restaurant in Australia is offering a hamburger in a blue bun, sprinkled
with real ants and worms. Or as Arby’s calls that, ‘The No. 6.'” -Conan O’Brien
“Amazon is introducing a new service called Amazon Key, which will allow delivery men
to open your front door and put packages directly inside your house. I don’t have a joke here. I just wanted to tell you how you’re going to be murdered. Sleep tight, folks.” -James Corden

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” Bill told his friend Doug.
“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” Doug suggested.
“I just don’t think I can do that to my wife.”
“Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!”
So Bill went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.”
“Forget it,” said his wife. “I’ve tried it so many times and it’s never worked.” 😐😁😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“We are the United States Government. We don’t do that sort of thing.”
ANSWER: Sneakers! NSA Bernard Abbott says this after Whistler claims he wants peace
on Earth and good will toward men as his reward for the decryption chip. “Sneakers” is a comedic thriller about computers and cryptography, government and espionage, and friendship and betrayal.

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

 “Mickey is a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog. What’s Goofy?”
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is the longest pair of English words that are pronounced exactly the same but share no letter in common?
ANSWER: Ewe and You   
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Beginning with “de”, add letters from the given pool to create a seven-letter word which
means “to withhold something”. Do not rearrange the letters as you go.
Pool: E R V P I
1) DE
2) _ _ _
3) _ _ _ _
4) _ _ _ _ _
5) _ _ _ _ _ _
6) _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The hint gives definitions/clues for each additional word, except for the last word.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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