WELCOME to Thursday, November 16, 2017.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and stays there.
Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Testicle, n. A short quiz.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Researchers say that they’ve figured out how to get around Apple’s new face-scanning
security feature. They did it by using a mask that mimics the user’s face. The mask
they used is made of plastic, silicone, and makeup. Or as they call that
here in Los Angeles, a face.” -James Corden
“A new study found that ancient cave art from 40,000 years ago was mostly done
by women. So even back then men didn’t have a say in decorating.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A South Carolina elementary school’s lunch program has added a food truck that serves
the kids buffalo wings, tacos, and mac-and-cheese. It’s all in keeping with the
school’s motto: ‘It’s Never Too Early To Give Up.'” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.”
“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.
“I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground” he answered.
“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked.
The man quickly answered. “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.” 😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Mickey is a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog. What’s Goofy?”
ANSWER: Stand by Me! Gordie Lachance and his buddies travel to the spot where a
boy about their age was killed in a train wreck. Along the way they stop for the night,
light a fire and discuss their meanings of life. This is one of River Phoenix’s best films of all time!
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“Don’t drive angry. Do not drive angry.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Beginning with “de”, add letters from the given pool to create a seven-letter word which
means “to withhold something”. Do not rearrange the letters as you go.
Pool: E R V P I
2) _ _ _
3) _ _ _ _
4) _ _ _ _ _
5) _ _ _ _ _ _
6) _ _ _ _ _ _ _
The hint gives definitions/clues for each additional word, except for the last word.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
Nothing – No + Some
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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