WELCOME to Friday, November 17, 2017.
Pungraphy for the weekend…
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating—always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He often broke into a song because he couldn’t find the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“I heard that people in Hawaii are stealing cans of Spam and reselling them.
So if you think you’re having a rough day, imagine being the guy waiting on
the corner for his Spam dealer. “Come on, where is this guy?”‘ -Jimmy Fallon
“Red Lobster announced today that it will start delivering its food in New York City
through a partnership with Grubhub. Because if there’s one thing that will make
discount seafood even better, it’s 20 minutes on the back of a bike.
Just think, that shrimp is going down 8th Avenue as we speak.” -Seth Meyers
“According to a new study, children who are spanked are twice as likely as those
that aren’t spanked to get into fights and destroy things – which is probably
why they get spanked in the first place.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A woman was talking to a co-worker, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything away, I am always going around the house cleaning up after him.”
The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”
The first woman asked, “Did it help?”
Her co-worker replied, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Don’t drive angry. Do not drive angry.”
ANSWER: Groundhog Day! Phil says this to the groundhog who he’s holding behind
the wheel of the truck he’s driving. In “Groundhog Day” a weatherman travels to the
home of the Groundhog (Puxatawney Phil), in Puxatawney, Pennsylvania. Here he
finds himself living the same day over and over again.
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“But I have nothing to give you. My hands are empty.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
Nothing – No + Some
ANSWER: Making SOMETHING out of NOTHING
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Change MILE to INCH by changing one letter at a time. Each change must produce
a valid word in the English language. But there is a catch. You must make the change
by going through YARD and FOOT. No word can be used more than once.
MILE —-> YARD —-> FOOT —-> INCH
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙏🙏🙏🙇🙅
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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