WELCOME to Friday, November 24, 2017.
REALLY BAD Thanksgiving Jokes…..
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims
Why can’t you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey!
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? “If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!”
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys & people after Thanksgiving dinner.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I’m stuffed!
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”? Because they never learned good table manners!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
When does your brother bring his new girlfriend to dinner? Skanksgiving.
What key has legs and can’t open doors? A Turkey.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off!
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus
Really that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat
and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to
please stop bothering me with stupid questions.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Pringles has launched several new potato chip flavors including turkey, stuffing,
mashed potato, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie.
Or as single dads call it, ‘Thanksgiving!'” -Seth Meyers
“There is a new website that allows parents to rent toys instead of buying them
for Christmas. The website is perfect for parents who aren’t
sure that they love their child.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read,
“Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.”
She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms.
A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the difference.” 😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘No time for love, Dr. Jones!’
ANSWER: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Said by Short Round as they are escaping from the Obi Wan restaurant. Also said by Randall in ‘Clerks’.
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘You’ve got me? Who’s got you?!’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Rearrange the letters to form new words, phrases, places, or names.
The words in parentheses are hints.
ONE ON ALP (conqueror)
SEEK A PHRASE (playful fellow)
KNEE CRUTCH ART (great ballet)
NONE MISTER (soup)
TOXIC NAME (April agony)
HE BUGS GORE
ONE ON ALP – Napoleon
SEEK A PHRASE – Shakespeare
KNEE CRUTCH ART – The Nutcracker
NONE MISTER – minestrone
TOXIC NAME – income tax
HE BUGS GORE – George Bush
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The stoic rabbit lives under the sea. Lamented bears took honey from a bee.
Let me now ask you: Can you find, in this little rhyming riddle sea creatures three?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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