WELCOME to Tuesday, January 2, 2018.
As e-mail (and blogs and texts and Tweets) continue to erode the
written language, perhaps it is time for an English language lesson.
So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules to keep in mind
when using the Queen’s English:
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).
6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.
11. Contractions aren’t helpful and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times:
resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Honestly must be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that
apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second best policy.” -George Carlin
“When I’m in a slump, I comfort myself by saying if I believe in dinosaurs, then
somewhere, they must be believing in me. And if they believe in me, then I can
believe in me. Then I bust out.” -Mookie Wilson (baseball player)
People born in the year 2000 never have to remember how old they are.” -Nick Offerman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. 😐
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘Whether it’s important to you or not, there are people out there who don’t care about money, who don’t give a damn about respect. People who believe the killing of innocent men and women is justified. For them it is about rage, frustration, hatred… they feel pain and they’re determined to share it with the world.’
ANSWER: The Peacemaker! Nicole Kidman’s character says this to George Clooney’s character, arguing that not all terrorists have a business mindset.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘People hurt the ones they love. That’s how it is all around the world.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you unscramble the names in Part 1 and match them with what they are famous for in Part 2? And your answer is?
1. MMAADUHM IAL
3. AONDLR EGRANA
4. OARWDH HHGSEU
5. AYR RSELACH
6. VLSIE REELYSP
1. Businessman, movie producer and aviator.
2. First real rock and roll star and first rock star to crossover into films.
3. Oldest president elected when he took office.
4. Inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame, Rock and Roll’s Hall of Fame and received Life Time Achievement Award.
5. Boastful boxer who suffers from Parkinson’s disease.
6. Song group who shaped music and an entire generation.
ANSWER: 1. Muhammad Ali: Boastful boxer who suffers from Parkinson’s disease.
2. Beatles: Song group who shaped music and an entire generation.
3. Ronald Reagan: Oldest president elected when he took office.
4. Howard Hughes: Businessman, movie producer and aviator.
5. Ray Charles: Inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame, Rock and Roll’s Hall of Fame
and received Life Time Achievement Award.
6. Elvis Presley: First real rock and roll star and first rock star to crossover into films.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
You can actually view words from a different perspective. For example, number
could mean getting more numb, while a butter could simply be a goat or a ram.
And now for the problem. What do you call a wicked thing?😁
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙅🙏🙏😎😁
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/