Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

7c66e216d9dc3f0e1fba3d4f656feb75--funny-church-signs-funny-signs

WELCOME to Wednesday May 23, 2018.

Ponderings…..  

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Daylight savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...

My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures
We took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.” –Cynthia Levin

“There’s got to be something wrong with people who go to Star Trek conventions.
I mean, I like Mary Tyler Moore, too, but I don’t rent out a big hall and dress up like Rhoda.” –Andy Kindler

“I’m a grown woman but my father still thinks I know nothing about my car. He always asks me, ‘You changing the oil every 3,000 miles?’ ‘Yes, Dad. I’m also putting sugar in the gas tank. That way my exhaust smells like cotton candy.'” –Mimi Gonzalez


  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A dottering, old professor of logic asked his College class a question.

“If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angeles is 2000 miles from Chicago, and the Moon is 239,000 miles from Earth, how old am I?”

A student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said, “Professor, you’re 70.”

The old professor said, “You’re absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?”

The student said, “It’s easy, I have a brother, he’s 35, and he’s half nuts.” 😎

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“I’m packing your extra pair of shoes and your angry eyes!”

ANSWERToy Story 2!  

Andy went to summer camp and the toys discovered a new adventure, they had to rescue Woody from an evil toy collector who kidnapped him. Woody did not know that he was a valuable collectable. Mrs. Potato Head said this to Mr. Potato Head he when getting ready for the rescue mission.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
“I don’t need a reason to be angry with God.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……

In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word is a series of letter groupings. Your task is to find the answer to

the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.

Example:

Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep

Answer:

Fgo evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE

1. Building: ant uhp yte alk ttr wrq ase
2. Kettledrum: qwt gig hjm klp all rnq tti
3. Image: ppo ghi kcl axt dug nrm eue
4. Music: sds fof uhk jnl dlk

Answer:   1. Building: THEATRE
2. Kettledrum: TIMPANI
3. Image: PICTURE
4. Music: SOUND

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Mr. Jones filed a lawsuit against the company he worked for. He claimed that the company he worked for was drugging him
to make him a better worker. He claimed that the coffee the company provided contained a drug called Trimethylxanthine.
Trimethylxanthine is an addictive drug that increases alertness, improves concentration, and gives you a euphoric feeling.
It operates using the same mechanisms that amphetamines, cocaine, and heroin use to stimulate the brain only to a lesser
degree. When the coffee was tested it was found that it did contain large amounts of Trimethylxanthine.
But, Mr. Jones did not win his lawsuit. Why?


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s