Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday June 5, 2018.

Thoughts on Aging…..

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
 
Old men are fond of giving advice to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples.
 
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
 
I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type.
He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
 
When you become senile, you won’t know it.

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
 
I’ve only got one wrinkle and I’m sitting on it.
 
The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t   forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES...

“A new study claims that women tend to let handsome men off the hook for things more easily, which is why I’m constantly apologizing.” -Seth Meyers

“Experts say that because of higher gas prices, fewer families will travel this weekend. That’s a shame. I can’t imagine growing up without an 18-hour ride through the desert with my father who’s too cheap to turn the air conditioning on.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new study, 88 percent of Facebook users have admitted to spending some time looking at their ex’s profile. While the other 12 percent have admitted to spending ALL of their time looking at their ex’s profile.” -Jimmy Fallon

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Two old men went hunting one day. A hang glider came soaring overhead and the first old man raised his gun and fired. After a brief pause the second old man asked “Did you get it, whatever it was?”

The first old man replied “No, I think I missed it. But I sure as heck made it turn loose

that poor fella it was carrying away!” 😱

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“I was robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart.”

ANSWER: Dumb and Dumber!

Lloyd tells Harry this after he comes back from spending all their money on the “necessities.” He explains that he was robbed by an old lady on a motorized cart after asking her to watch his stuff, while he went to get change, and then insulting her about her age.

Monday’s Quizzer is…….Johnny was given 16 coins by his older, somewhat meaner brother, Mark. He told him that he could keep them all if he could place all 16 on the table in such a way that they formed 15 rows with 4 coins in each row. After 10 minutes, Johnny walked away with the coins and Mark, after complaining futilely to his mother, left with nothing. How did Johnny place the coins?

 Answer:  If you draw a 5-pointed star with all sides of equal length, you will create a pentagon in the middle with all 5 sides of equal length.

Then draw another 5 pointed star, upside-down, using the 5 points of the interior pentagon as the points of the inner star,

This will give you another 5-sided pentagon in the interior of the second, smaller star.

Now, take your 16 coins and place 5 on the outside points of the outside star. Then place 5 more on the points of each of the two pentagons you have created. Finally, place the last coin in the dead center of this drawing.

The lines are as follows:
5 lines for the actual drawing of the outside star
5 lines for the actual drawing of the inside star
5 lines that start from any outside point of the outside star and go to the opposite point of the inside star, passing through 1 point of the inner pentagon, the dead center coin on the way.

Total lines: 15

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

The following limerick has had the last word of each line scrambled. Can you figure it out?

It is the unfortunate THIAB
Of the rabbit to breed like a BIRTBA.
One can say without NOUSETIQ
This leads to TECGSONINO
In the burrows that rabbits TANIIBH.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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