Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday June 6, 2018.

Mawwiage Quotes…… 

My other wife is beautiful.

My wife doesn’t care what I do away from home, as long as I don’t enjoy it.

My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.

My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she’s going to leave me. Gosh, I’m going to miss her.

My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. — PJ O’Rourke

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac

Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! — Al Bundy

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES...“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” Rodney Dangerfield

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,” Calvin.

“Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?” Hobbes. Calvin and Hobbes.

“Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.” John Peers

“Cheese… milk’s leap toward immortality.” Clifton Fadiman.

“You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.” Pearl Williams.

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man….I could be eating a slow learner.”

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President  of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him,  “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at  the grocery store!”.  “Really?” he said. Not sure if this was true or  not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.  A clerk answers and Tom  says “Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?” The clerk  replies “Canned or frozen?” 😐😱😁

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

 “Alright, give me Hamm on 5, hold the Mayo.”

ANSWER: Airplane!

This was said by Capt. Clarence Oveur, who was played by Peter Graves. He was already on the phone with the Mayo clinic and the operator interrupted his call to tell him he had an emergency call from Dr. Hamm. “Airplane!” was a spoof of the airport disaster movies in the 1970s. The crew of an airplane was taken by a virus, possibly food poisoning.
The airplane had to be flown and landed by an ex-war pilot who is now uncomfortable about flying.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
 “Anybody not wearing two million sun block is gonna have a real bad day.”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….The following limerick has had the last word of each line scrambled. Can you figure it out?

It is the unfortunate THIAB
Of the rabbit to breed like a BIRTBA.
One can say without NOUSETIQ
This leads to TECGSONINO
In the burrows that rabbits TANIIBH.

Answer: It is the unfortunate habit

Of the rabbit to breed like a rabbit.
One can say without question
This leads to congestion
In the burrows that rabbits inhabit.

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

Every dawn begins with me,
At dusk I’ll be the first you see,
And daybreak couldn’t come without
What midday centers all about.
Daisies grow from me, I’m told
And when I come, I end all cold,
But in the sun I won’t be found,
Yet still, each day I’ll be around.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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