Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

ds54-27

WELCOME to Thursday June 7, 2018.

A Woman’s seminars……

New Summer Seminars for Women

The Auto Hood Release, What Is It And Why Is It There

Life Beyond Shoes

Money, The Non-Renewable Resource

How To Get 90 Minutes Out Of An Hour

Why Men Don’t Like Any Of Your Friends

How To Be A Victim Of Marketing

How To Get Out Of Bed Without Waking Up Your Man

Is There Really Enough Makeup In The World

How To Get The Most Out Of A Garbage Bag

Cigar Smoke And Its Benefits

Clocks And Time: The Mysterious Connection

Tupperware: Its Social And Environmental Drawbacks

Where To Look When Your Auto Is In Reverse

Learning When Not To Talk, And Then Not Talking

How To Avoid Turning Into Your Mother

Quality Time: When You And Your Husband Should Spend Time Apart

Beyond The Front Page: Exploring The Daily Newspaper

How To Accept Criticism or When To Give Up On Cooking

Telltales Sounds Associated With Auto Collisions

Toilet Paper And The Loss Of The Rain Forests: The Vital Connection

When Ignorance Can Be A Blessing: Household Finances And You

How To Keep ‘Em Guessing, or: 101 Ways To Fold A Towel

Talking And Driving: There’s Got To Be A Way

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“According to a new survey that just came out, the issue most on the minds of college students is whether they’ll be able to find a job when they graduate. Experts say it’s silly for college students to worry about whether or not they’ll be able to find a job because the answer is no.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new restaurant has opened in Boston where all the food is cooked by robots. It’s a little different than having a human cooking staff. Instead of finding a hair in your food, you’ll find a USB cable.” -James Corden

“Beachgoers in Florida have been warned about deadly flesh-eating bacteria in the water. Of course, if you’re even in Florida, you’ve already ignored a few warnings.” -Seth Meyers

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly  remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped,  and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient  similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you  have the time?”

The patient calls back, “One moment!” and throws himself  upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the  stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter’s level, assures  himself that the stick is vertical. With a compass, the patient locates  north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow
cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient  calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back  to the pedestrian, saying, “It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today  is August 16th, which I believe it is.” The man can’t help but be  impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before  he leaves, he says to the patient, “That was really quite remarkable,  but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick  casts no shadow?” The patient holds up his wrist and says, “I suppose  I’d just look at my watch.” 😐

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   “Anybody not wearing two million sun block is gonna have a real bad day.”

ANSWER: Terminator 2: Judgment Day!

[On tape] It’s like a giant strobe light, burning right  through my eyes, but somehow I can still see. Oh, God. Look, you know  the dream’s the same every night, why do I have to–? The children look  like burnt paper, black, not moving. And then, the blast wave hits them  and they fly apart like leaves. It’s not a dream, you moron. It’s real. I  know the date it happens! On August 29th, 1997, it’s gonna feel pretty  ****ing real to you, too! Anybody not wearing two million sunblock is  gonna have a real bad day, get it?! You think you’re safe and alive?  You’re already dead! Everybody! Him, you, you’re dead already! This  whole place! Everything you see is gone! You’re the one living in a  ****ing dream, Silberman! Because I know it happens! It happens!!

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“I’m a perfectioniss… perfectioniss… perfectioniss…t.”

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Every dawn begins with me,
At dusk I’ll be the first you see,
And daybreak couldn’t come without
What midday centers all about.
Daisies grow from me, I’m told
And when I come, I end all cold,
But in the sun I won’t be found,
Yet still, each day I’ll be around.

Answer: The letter D

Thursday’s Quizzer is…… Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.

Group A

1. Optic
2. Civet
3. Toner
4. Rosin
5. Lease

Group B

1. Painter’s stand
2. Singing voice
3. Golf clubs
4. Subject
5. Throw out


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s