Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday June 7, 2018.  

Tip to help improve your Writing…...

1. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
2. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
3. A writer must not shift your point of view.
4. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
5. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!
6. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
7. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
8. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
9. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
10. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
11. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
12. Always pick on the correct idiom.
13. The adverb always follows the verb.
14. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!


Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. 😎

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she will take it anyway.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

 G A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college  and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said,  “Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics  book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that  up too?”  “Uhh, oh yeah, O.K.” responded the kid.  So his Mom

wrapped  the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and  went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets  back, Dad asked, “Well how much did you give the boy this time?”  “Oh, I  wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000.” “That’s  $1020!!!” yelled Dad, “Are you going crazy???”
“Don’t worry hon,” Mom  said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, “I taped the $20 check  to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the  pages in chapter 15!” 😱😁

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  

“I’m a perfectioniss… perfectioniss… perfectioniss…t.”

ANSWER: The Cable Guy!

Chip, the cable guy with a lisp, said this to Steven when he first came to his apartment to install his cable. Chip asked Steven
to fill out a comment card and mail it in when he was done. Steven asked if it was for Chip’s boss and Chip said, “No, it’s for me.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“OW! You shot me, you a-hole!”

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.

Group A

1. Optic
2. Civet
3. Toner
4. Rosin
5. Lease

Group B

1. Painter’s stand
2. Singing voice
3. Golf clubs
4. Subject
5. Throw out


1. Easel (5)
2. Tenor (3)
3. Irons (4)
4. Topic (1)
5. Evict (2)

Friday’s Quizzer is…

What’s the rebus shown by this display below?


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


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