Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday June 13, 2018.

Humor about the old…

OLD CANNERS never die, they are preserved
OLD CARS never die, they just get run into the ground
OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out
OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganically
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just lose their refluxes
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just reach equilibrium
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just smell that way
OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD COMPOSERS never die, they just decompose
OLD COMPUTER PEOPLE never die, they just lose their memory
OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust
OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged
OLD COURIERS never die, they just keep on EXPRESSing it!    
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Last week, a 90-year-old letter to Santa Claus was found in a chimney. On the bright side, the 96-year-old who wrote the letter is still alive and finally got that tricycle.” -Conan O’Brien

“Italian chefs recently set a new world record after making a mile-long pizza that took five ovens and over 11 hours to bake. It got weird when the person who ordered the pizza was like, ‘Ooh, I said no pepperoni.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Here’s some strange fashion news. According to The New York Times, the monocle is back in style. Unless you’re a Batman villain or a giant salted peanut, you should not wear a monocle.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family
in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
“Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins-if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  

 “T…t…t… today, Junior.”

ANSWER: Billy Madison!  Billy Madison said this to a kid who was a really slow reader in his class.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“What you mean blend in? I’m two feet taller then everybody in here.”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

I am tied up at least once a day
And forced to carry ten nails.
I work diligently without any pay
And follow your many trails.

I do not smell very well
But at least I have many eyes.
I have two tongues but never yell
And I’ll bet you know my size.

What am I?

Answer:  Your shoes!

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

In this teaser you have been given two (2) clues in each line. Each word differs by only one (1) letter, which
I have given you. Your task is to discover the answers to the clues provided.
The order of the letters does not change.

Example:

Remove _ _ _ I _ _ / _ _ _ U _ _ Justify

Answer:

E X C (I) S E / E X C (U) S E

1. specialist _ _ _ E _ _ / _ _ _ O _ _ ship

2. hull _ _ L _ _ / _ _ N _ _ indulgence

3. scorch S _ _ _ _ / T _ _ _ _ slight colouration

4. soft spread _ U _ _ _ _ / _ I _ _ _ _ grievous





LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

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