WELCOME to Thursday June 28, 2018.
Rules of Life….
- You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
- The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship : “I apologize” and “You are right.”
- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
- The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, “Go! You might meet somebody!”
- If he/she says that you are too good for him/her. . . believe them.
- Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from
now? How about one month? One week? One day?’
- Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
- If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
- Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
- Work is good, but it’s not that important.
- And finally… Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… “Authorities in Florida are searching for two men who left an injured alligator at a convenience store. Said the alligator, ‘No, no, it’s cool. They said they’d see me later.'” -Seth Meyers
“Today is the first official day of summer. Right now, everyone’s thinking, ‘I’m gonna hike! I’m gonna go camping! I’m gonna hit the beach!’ While Netflix is like, ‘Suuure you are.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The FDA has approved a device for weight loss that sucks the food out of your stomach through an abdominal incision. Or, you could just try a salad some time.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A therapist has a theory that the more often couples make love, the happier they are. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love 2 to 3 times a week?”
Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “How about once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”
One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked as this lone aberration disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “what are you so happy about?” The man yells, “Today’s the day!” 😎
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Swear on your mother’s good name? Even if she goes to hell because you lied?’
ANSWER: Stand By Me! Gordie says this to Chris because he doesn’t want him to tell anybody that he shot the trash can.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Lake; big lake.’
Wednesday’s Quizzer is……. Can you find the one word for each list that can be added to the end of each word in its list to create a new word, compound word, or phrase?
Thursday’s Quizzer is……Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:
TLEM – Take letters 1,2 & 4
ELTA – Take letters 1 & 3
MSURT – Take letter 1
HMEYR – Take letters 2 & 3
Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/