Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

b05e37b5c6b42afc2ab4e3164ebec633--jury-duty-demotivational-posters

WELCOME to Friday June 29, 2018.

Wit and Wisdom……

It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Is it just me, or does anybody else find pressing F5 refreshing?

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me.

In high school, I was in the French club. All we would do is occasionally surrender to the German club.

The worst bar I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle. It really was a vile inn. 😱😐

I used to be quite good at wordplay. Once a pun a time.

Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking, that’s about the same.

Don’t worry about infringing on corporate trademarks, Just Do It.

Failure is at the end of the path of least persistence.

Shouldn’t the Air and Space Museum be empty?

Somebody called me ‘pretentious’ the other day. I nearly choked on my latte.

I spent some time at my wife’s grave earlier. She’s not dead – she thinks I’m digging a pond. 😁

What do houseflies and Mac users have in common? Neither of them understand how Windows work.

92% of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…“New York’s State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize alcoholic ice cream. ‘That’s great news,’ said a five-year-old having a rough day. ‘Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.'” -Seth Meyers

“Starbucks just announced that they’re closing 150 stores due to low sales. Meanwhile, the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble was like, ‘Shhh – I think they forgot about us.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade’s worth of U.S. military data. However, this morning, the Chinese government called and said no problem, we backed it up.” -Conan O’Brien

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump.

My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.”

“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.

“I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground” he answered.

“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked.  The man quickly answered. “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.”😐

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   ‘Lake; big lake.’

ANSWER: Sixteen Candles! This is Long Duck Dong’s response when grandpa asks him where his car is.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends.’

 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is……. Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

TLEM – Take letters 1,2 & 4
ELTA – Take letters 1 & 3
MSURT – Take letter 1
HMEYR – Take letters 2 & 3

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?

Answer:  

TLEM Take letters 1,2 & 4 – MELT, take M,E,T
ELTA Take letters 1 & 3 – TEAL, take T,A
MSURT Take letter 1 – STRUM, take S
HMEYR Take letters 2 & 3 – RHYME, take H,Y

Unscramble the above to get ‘Amethyst’.

The amethyst is a beautiful gemstone of purple hue. In ancient times, it was associated with celibacy and controlling drunkenness. It was also believed to have the ability to dissipate evil thoughts and quicken the intelligence.

 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…

I represent love.
I’m the daughter of Heaven and Sea.
You may find me in the sky above,
And many envy my beauty.

My love belongs to fire,
But if I said I was true to him
I would be a liar,
But I have no shame for my whims.

My son taught many to love.
To me the only earthly items of worth
Are myrtle, sparrow, swan, and dove.
And no one remembers my birth.

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s