Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday July 3, 2018.

More Laws………

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. (Or when you’re having a really bad hair day…)

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (In my case, this is known as “The Parking Lot Law” – I park our new car as far away from the building entrance and other cars as I can. There are 35 vacant parking spaces between me and the nearest vehicle. When I return to my car, I can’t even open the driver’s door because of the banged-up old pickup parked snugly next to me – and there are still 33 unoccupied parking spots all around us.)

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great July 4th people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.” – Albert Schweitzer

“Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything.” – Blaise Pascal

“Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.” – Robert Frost

“To promote the use of clean energy, a Swiss adventurist is going to fly around the world in a solar-powered airplane. He’s just praying that nothing bad will happen…like night.” -Jimmy Fallon

“When I’m driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I’m not afraid of small children.” –Jonathan Katz

“Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.” –Tim Allen😱😁

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A man was driving down the street in a sweat because he had a very important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven, he said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to church every Sunday and quit drinking!” Just then, a parking place appeared – the closest one imaginable. The man looked up again and said, “Never mind, I just found one.” 😐

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   “Don’t mind me asking, but do you have six fingers on your right hand?” “Do you always start conversations this way?”

ANSWER: The Princess Bride! When Inigo first meets Westley, he asks him this because he is looking for the six-fingered man who slaughtered his father, so he can take out his revenge.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Who am I Charles? I am the man who loves your sister.”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……. Diagramless is a special form of crossword puzzle. It is the same, just you have no idea where the black squares are, you have to use the answers to the clues and the numbers of them to figure that out.  Can you figure this diagramless out? It is just a small, 4×4 grid, and there are two black squares.

Across Clues:
1. Water Sport
5. Best Grade
6. __ top of; above
7. Place of relaxation
9. Water Level

Down Clues:
1. Opposite of future
2. Oxygen
3. Fill by putting on
4. Opposite of off
8. 3.14
10. Vowel between C and H

(the hint tells you where the two black squares are located)

Answer: Here are the answers to the rows.
Row 1 – POLO, Row 2 – A-ON, Row 3 – SPA-, Row 4 – TIDE

Here are the answers to the columns:
Column 1 – PAST, Column 2 – O-PI, Column 3 – LOAD, Column 4 – ON-E

 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…… Compound words are pairings of existing words; e.g. brainstorm. Each word affects the overall meaning. Some word pairs can be compounded in two ways. Use the given clues to find these “compound couples”.

** EXAMPLE **
short range firearm & the blast from a firearm [7]
= shotgun & gunshot

** CLUES **
1. pass & company merger [8]

2. escape & the start of a war [8]

3. delay & maintain [6]

4. shelf set & detective’s diary [8]

** HINT **
You will find sentences in which the Compound Couples can be placed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

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