Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday July 5, 2018.

Message from Her Majesty The Queen

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II: English Jokes

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern

yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

1. Look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’, ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise’. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

3. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced after 30 years on the bench, he’s retiring. He’s 81 years old, so he’s going to go from sitting around in a robe all day to sitting around in a robe all day.” -Jimmy Fallon

“I think all these storms are God’s way of sending us a message. I think that message is that when warm humid air masses surge northward from the Gulf of Mexico and combine with a strong jet stream, it can result in severe weather conditions.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new study, American fathers are spending more than twice the amount of time with their children than they used to. Experts say it’s due to a sweeping new trend called ‘unemployment.'” -Conan O’Brien

During lunch, an ad for a lending institution came on the television set in our employees’ lounge. As the commercial extolled the pleasures of extra money, I remarked that there was no such thing as “extra” money. “Yes, there is,” my supervisor retorted. “It’s what you have right before your car breaks down.”

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. Nicholas took his four-year-old son, Bryan, to several baseball games where “The Star-Spangled Banner”was sung before the start of each game. Later, Nicholas and Bryan attended St Bartholomew’s church on the Sunday before Independence Day.  The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, Bryan suddenly yelled out at the top of his voice, ‘Play ball.’😱😁

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Who am I Charles? I am the man who loves your sister.” 

ANSWER: Kate and Leopold!  After Leopold has been in the future for a while, Charlie still doesn’t believe he is who Leopold says he is,  and asks him. This is Leopold’s response.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Love of my life! Let down your lustrous locks!”


Tuesday’s Quizzer is……. Compound words are pairings of existing words; e.g. brainstorm. Each word affects the overall meaning.
Some word pairs can be compounded in two ways. Use the given clues to find these “compound couples”.

short range firearm & the blast from a firearm [7]
= shotgun & gunshot

** CLUES **
1. pass & company merger [8]

2. escape & the start of a war [8]

3. delay & maintain [6]

4. shelf set & detective’s diary [8]

** HINT **
You will find sentences in which the Compound Couples can be placed.

Answer:  1. overtake & takeover
2. breakout & outbreak
3. holdup & uphold
4. casebook & bookcase


Thursday’s Quizzer is…

Use synonyms of the following phrases to decode popular movie titles.

1.) Arachnid Boy

2.) Melody and Words

3.) Parade of the Flightless Birds

4.) Has to Like Canines

5.) Male of the 12 Months

6.) Swashbucklers of the Tropical Sea


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at


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