Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

190006-It-s-Tuesday

WELCOME to Tuesday July 10, 2018.

Why Dogs Don’t Use Computers…. 
Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’10.
Fetch command not available on all platforms.
Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.
Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”
Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing http://www.pethouse.com
instead of working.
Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
Not at all fooled by the old Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that signifies tail-wagging.
Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…
Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master’s.leg.
Too Hard To Type With Paws.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… “Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie are rolling out a new payment program which allows online shoppers to pay in installments later rather than in full, called Afterpay. Not to be confused with the program they have at Taco Bell, where you always pay for it later.” -Seth Meyers

“A group of shareholders at Facebook might be plotting to get rid of Mark Zuckerberg. And their plan would be way more likely to work if Mark wasn’t spying on them using Facebook.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an

invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….The  young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he  couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for  each year of her life. The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your  19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old  wife.” The young man bought a dozen roses. 😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Now you have to deal with ME, oh prince. And all the powers of hell!”

ANSWER:Sleeping Beauty! Maleficent says this to Prince Phillip right before she turns into a fire-breathing dragon.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I am the eater of worlds, and of children! I am invincible!”

 

 

Monday’s Quizzer is……. In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.
Example: 1. picture, inner, top, test
Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.

1. sky, point, hat, knee

2. street, fight, pedal, off

3. shoe, french, powder, rims

4. moulding, roast, triple, jewels  

Answer: 1. sky HIGH, HIGH point, HIGH hat, knee HIGH

2. BACK street, fight BACK, BACK pedal, BACK off

3. shoe HORN, french HORN, powder HORN, HORN rims

4. CROWN moulding, CROWN roast, triple CROWN, CROWN jewels

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

Down below the shining moon
Around the trees, a sacred gloom
Running with the midnight sky
Knowing the thing that makes you cry
Night is full with my essence
Eternal light betrays my presence
Soaring through my endless task
Shadows are my faithful mask😁







 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

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