Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday July 12, 2018.

Amazing Anagrams……..
Dormitory == Dirty Room
Desperation == A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code == Here Come Dots
Slot Machines == Cash Lost in ’em
Animosity == Is No Amity
Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z’s
Alec Guinness == Genuine Class
Semolina == Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point == I’m a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one
Contradiction == Accord not in it
This one’s amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Becomes: In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent  hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
And the grand finale: “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong
becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…“When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist,” said my husband’s grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, “Now look how much I got. That’s what I call an investment!”

My wife’s star sign was cancer and it’s quite ironic how she died really…She was attacked by a giant crab.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day.

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said, “There’s some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half…” The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. 

Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”

The boy replied, “Canada, Sir.”

“Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?” asked the manager.

The boy replied, “They’re all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there.”  “Really,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Canada!”

The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?” 😎

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t worry about me. So, what’s in the bag?” 

ANSWER: Run Lola Run! After Manny had retrieved his stolen money, he met up with Lola. Little did he know that in the bag was 10,000 marks!

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “One ring to rule them all.”

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzer is……. Write a table that contains a row of letters and a row of numbers where you can clearly tell that A=1, B=2, C=3 etc until Z=26. Using it, decipher the clues to find a nine letter word which could describe someone evil.

– The 2nd and 7th letters are the same and divisible by 5.
– The 6th letter is an even number which is LESS than 13.
– The 5th is the 1st and 6th letter’s value added together.
– The 8th letter is a prime number between 15 and 25.
– The 3rd letter is a vowel, whose value is less than 10.
– The 1st letter has a value 10 less than the 4th.
– The last letter’s value is equal to double the 8th and then subtract 19.

 

Answer:  Heartless.
Values: 8 5 1 18 20 12 5 19 19

Thursday’s Quizzer is……In this teaser, your job is to form eight (8) complete words from list A, B, & C. In each list, there are parts of words. Choose one word part from each list (A, B, C) to form the new word.

Example:

CORN + ERST + ONE = CORNERSTONE

List A:
FOR
ANT
EM
BOO
PER
IN
MAT
NO

List B:
CUB
IS
ME
ON
IT
EN
AD
PA

List C:
COPE
THY
DAY
SIC
ATE
RUST
RANG
OR









 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

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