Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Monday-Sometimes-You-Just-Cant

WELCOME to Monday July 23, 2018.

Thoughts….

  1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

    2. There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time
    to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking
    how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

    3. When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
    neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag
    himself.

    4. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be
    vague.

    5. Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

    6. A penny saved is a government oversight.

    7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the
    right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid
    the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

    8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
    because by then your body and your fat are really good
    friends.

    9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house
    is to buy a replacement.

    10. He who hesitates is probably right.

    11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t
    met everybody.

    12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone
    in mind to blame.

    13. The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can
    tell when he’s really in trouble.

    14. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The”
    and “IRS” together it spells “THEIRS”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…  “The 12 boys who were rescued from a cave in Thailand last week are about to be released from the hospital. They said the first thing they want to eat is KFC. Then their doctor was like, ‘Dear God, haven’t you been through enough?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A South Carolina elementary school’s lunch program has added a food truck that serves the kids buffalo wings, tacos, and mac-and-cheese. It’s all in keeping with the school’s motto: ‘It’s Never Too Early To Give Up.'” -Conan O’Brien

“The website Vice has published a new article profiling items found in the New York’s subway system’s Lost and Found. The most common thing lost on the subway? An hour and a half.” -Seth Meyers

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A young college girl came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” she cried.  “I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad.  “You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”

“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the world,” he said. “Surely there must be some mistake.”  “I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.” 😐😱😎

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  Just beyond a midden in the Misty Mountains, a wretched creature fawns over a prized possession, “It came to me. My own. My love. My own. My precious.”

ANSWER: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!  “The Fellowship of the Ring” is the first installment in Peter Jackson’s high fantasy film trilogy based on the novels by J.R.R. Tolkien. The story revolves around the formation of a fellowship of nine, who start out on an epic journey to return the One Ring to Mordor, where it must be destroyed.

The scene described in the question plays out in film’s opening. As is only later divulged in “The Return of the King”,  Gollum, or Smeagol as he was then called, was at first sight enchanted by the Ring of Power. The Ring had only just been recovered from a riverbed by his relative, Deagol, after being lost for two and a half thousand years. Smeagol  was so ensnared that he snuffed the life out of Deagol to claim ownership. Gollum would henceforth refer to the Ring as his Precious.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? Chief Gillespie attempts to belittle his new partner by attacking his name and his dark skin and then asks him what they call him back in Philadelphia. “They call me MR TIBBS!” is the classic retort he receives.

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

I beam, I shine, I sparkle white
I’ll brighten the gloom with my light
I’ll mystify and enchant all
I’ll bring out the best in you all

Goofy, bucked, green or gold
Young and charming, wise and old
Sly, cunning, empty some times
Mirthful, uplifting, within the lines

A fleeting glimpse or prolonged show
I’m sometimes sad, sometimes mean
Sometimes I’ll say more than you know
Or betray what you think you’ve seen

Now, if you know me, tell me so
You have me too, you know!

Answer:  A smile.😁

 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…… In this teaser you must place a 3-letter word on the dashes to complete a word on the left and to begin another word with those letters on the right.

Example:  e a r _ _ _ m e = e a r T H Y/ T H Y m e

1. f e a t _ _ _ o i c = ?
2. c o u r _ _ _ n d a = ?
3. d i s p _ _ _ o v e r = ?
4. k e e _ _ _ s i s t = ?
5. r u n _ _ _ i c e = ?

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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