Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday July 27, 2018.

Seinfeld-isms of the day!

+ Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
+ If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
+ Does fuzzy logic tickle?
+ If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
+ I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
+ How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
+ If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
+ Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
+ What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
+ Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
+ Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it?
+ Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as “4s”?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES… France won the World Cup and they were led by a 19-year-old prodigy named Kylian Mbappe. After the game, Mbappe said winning the World Cup totally makes up for being named after a Hanson song.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The California home that was used for exterior shots on ‘The Brady Bunch’ is up for sale, and you know the three most important words in real estate: ‘Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.'” -Seth Meyers

“Thanks to new tariffs from China and Mexico, there’s now 2.5 billion pounds of meat piled up. Good news for McDonald’s AND McDonald’s Playlands. ‘Kids, go play in the meat pit.'” -Stephen Colbert

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. “Okay Simpson,” says the investigator, “you were near the scene – what happened ?” “Well, it’s like this. Old Charley was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up.” “He was smoking in the mixing room?” the investigator said in stunned horror, “How long had he been with the company?” “About 20 years, sir” “20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I’d have thought it would have been the last thing he’d have done.” “It was, sir.”😱😎

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passing.”

ANSWER: To Kill A Mockingbird (1962)! In “To Kill A Mockingbird”, Jean Louise’s father Atticus Finch is a lawyer who defends a black man wrongly accused of rape. As Mr Finch leaves the courtroom after losing the case, Reverend Sykes in the audience prompts Jean Louise (Scout) to stand up as a mark of respect for her father who did his best to see that justice prevailed.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”?

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is……. In Handland the currency is fingers. What does the cost of the following sale item represent?
1 T-shirt
Normal price: 19 fingers
Sale price: 14 fingers

Answer: 5 finger discount.
If you steal something it is often called a 5 finger discount.

 

Friday’s Quizzer is……While riding in the car I saw a license plate that read like this:

IXMNIZ

What occupation did the man in the car have?😁😎

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

http://www.amazon.com

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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