Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Tuesday August 21, 2018.

Murphy’s Top Ten Laws for Parents;

1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.

2. Leakproof thermoses will.

3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.

5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.

6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.

7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.

8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.

9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.

10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people,

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!

Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“A 91-year-old woman in Germany is under investigation for destruction of property

after she tried filling in words on a crossword puzzle on display at an art museum.

If charged, the woman could face time in a four-letter word for enclosure.” -Seth Meyers

“Scientists have discovered that men are genetically programed to look at other women.

So sorry, ladies, it’s science. I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.” -Conan O’Brien😁😎

“Best Buy just purchased a company that provides emergency response services. So,

next time you’re having a heart attack, don’t worry, the Geek Squad will be over

tomorrow between 2:00 and 4:00 to save your life.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.
Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, “What do you have in your pocket?”
“Tennis ball,” the man said, smiling back.
“Wow!” said the woman looking upset. “That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow

and the pain was terrible!” 😐

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Welcome to the new world, sir.”

ANSWER: The Hunt for Red October! Russian submarine captain Marko Ramius (Sean Connery) quotes Christopher Columbus as he and his purloined nuclear submarine are escorted to a secret New England hiding spot by CIA analyst Jack Ryan (Alec Baldwin). The above quote is Ryan’s response to Ramius. Ryan spent most of the film trying to figure out (a) where Ramius was, and (b) what his real intentions were. As usual in Hollywood, everything worked out just fine in the end!

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Hello, Jack. Are you of the Boston Dawsons?” “No, the, uh, Chippewa Falls Dawsons, actually.”

Monday’s Quizzer is…….

There are 4 clues below. Each clue is related to a type of candy. You have to try to figure out what each candy is. Good luck!

1. The average worker loves this day.

2. When actors or actresses get a little break.

3. Think of the 4th planet from the sun.

4. Also referred to as ‘geeks’.

Answer: 1. Pay Day 2. Take 5 3. Mars Bar 4. Nerds

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……

What do the following words have in common?

CONQUERED
ALSO
FRONT
DEVOURED
ATTACKS

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

http://www.amazon.com

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store