Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday August 24, 2018.

Here’s the story….
“Cookie Monster checks into rehab after intervention”VENTURA, CA – Friends and family of the TV star Cookie Monster held what they are referring to as “a successful intervention” last month in an effort to get Monster clean and free from his cookie addiction.  “We’ve been worried for years that his cookie addiction was getting
out of hand,” said co-star and close friend Ernie. “I think at the end there he was up to like 10 to 12 boxes of  cookies a day. A guy just can’t continue to do that and be a coherent person. Last time I saw him before the intervention he was totally messed up on those thin mint cookies from the Girl Scouts. You know, (Girl Scouts)  are just as much to blame for C.M.’s problems as he is. Devils in a green skirt is what I call them.” Shortly after
the intervention, Monster checked himself into the Betty Ford clinic.  “I think it’s great that we were able to finally get him the help he needed,” Ernie said. “Call it a fond memory, or a nightmare, but I can remember this one time when I walked in on him at the tail end of a four day oatmeal raisin binge. Man, there were crumbs everywhere.
C.M. just looked at me, puked all over all over the place. Man, as much as I want to forget it, I don’t think that image will ever leave my mind.”
Monster’s addiction began in the early 90s, and at its peak was costing the star upwards of $3,000 a day. While many of his co-stars and friends suspected there was a problem, Monster was able to hide his addiction from his fans.  “Man, those were some bad days,” Cookie Monster said from his room at the Betty Ford clinic. “Just to get up in the morning, I would need three or four White Chocolate Macadamia Nut’s. And that was
just to get outta bed. Then there was the fixes I needed to get through my shower. I know a shower doesn’t seem like a major ordeal, but when you have to scrub the feces outta this much fur, it can take a while.”  Producers of  Sesame Street are being supportive, giving Monster all the time he needs to get healthy.
“We are committed to Cookie. He’s always been a part of the show and will always be a part of the show,” said Jane Watson, spokesman for PBS. “If this attempt at sobering up fails, then we will support another one. Though I do have to say that we will not go through the same issues we had with Bert. That guy was so out of control we had to finally kill him. But that’s a whole different ball game.” Monster will complete his program at the Betty Ford Clinic in late August, at which point he will take a month with his family before returning to work and making children around the world laugh.  “I want to come back for the kids. I gotta say that I’m really stoked about getting off the dough. It’s been a monkey on my back for way too long man. Way too long. I’m just so tired. So tired,” said Monster. “And you know, if I don’t kick this, I don’t know if I’ll make it. It’s hard. So hard. If this fails, I’ll probably just give up for good. But yeah, I can’t wait to get back to the children. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and whatever you do,don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES… 

“Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.” ― Jim Butcher, Proven Guilty😁
“It is cheerful to God when you rejoice or laugh from the bottom of your heart.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.🙏


“We can only feel sorry for ourselves when our misfortunes are still supportable. Once this limit is crossed, the only way to bear the unbearable is to laugh at it.” ― Marjane Satrapi 😁


“Moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength is shown in levity.”
― G.K. Chesterton😎🙇


“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.”  ― Michael Pritchard😎


 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial
in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog.

A neighbor, an old Florida cracker, was leaning on the fence
watching my progress and asked, “What the heck’s that for?”

I explained,  “It’s a sun dial, see the sun will hit that
small triangular spike and cast a shadow on the face of the
sundial. Then, as the sun moves across the sky, the shadow
also moves across the calibrated dial, enabling a person to
determine the correct time.”

My neighbor shook his head and muttered,. “Huh, what will
they think of next?”😐😱

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Don’t smirk ________. I shan’t kiss you.” “Pity, ’cause I shaved very close this morning in preparation for getting smacked by you.”

ANSWER: Patton! In this scene British Field Marshal, Bernard Montgomery (Michael Bates), and his troops parade into Messina during the Sicily invasion thinking they got there first, but then they see American General George Patton (George C. Scott) and his troops already there, waiting to review the British. An uncomfortable-looking Montgomery says the first line and a beaming Patton says the second.

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “He’s not as tough as he thinks.” “Neither are we.”

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

YO MIND 
Answer: 

You are out of your mind.

(U and R are gone from the word ‘your’ and are out of “your mind”.)


Friday’s Quizzer is…

In this teaser, you are to start with the word ‘HALF’, and then each time, change a letter to make a new word.
You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘BACK’.

You must do this in four (4) turns.

Good luck.

HALF
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _

BACK




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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