Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday August 27, 2018.

What Professors/Teachers Really Mean….

1. This needs some minor revision. = I never actually got around to reading this.

2. My office hours are by appointment only = I like to get out of here early.

3. Ten percent of your grade is based on class participation. = I’ll be fudging your grades.

4. This won’t be on the test. = Nap time!

5. Bring the text to class. = I don’t have a clue how to lecture – we’ll just kill time with group read-longs.

6. Talk to me in my office after class. = Get out of my face.

7. The tests will all be multiple-choice. = I take questions directly from the study guide, and have grad students do all my grading.

8. Don’t come in late during my lecture. = I have the attention span of a fruit fly.

9. Save your questions until the end. = See above.

10. The final will be comprehensive. = I’ll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything I couldn’t fully cover myself in 15 weeks.

11. Everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations. = This course is outside my specialty – I’ll just bluff it and let you teach.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“An 11-year-old boy in Florida was able to hack into a state elections website and change results in under 10 minutes. So get ready to meet Florida’s next governor, Fortnite McDeadpool.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists in Canada are working to create the world’s first beer brewed entirely from cannabis. Scientists say they’ve been working tirelessly from morning to mid-morning.” -Seth Meyers

“For a lot of children, the party known as summer is over. Don’t worry, kids. School will end eventually and then you’ll get to go to a different kind of school called work, and it only ends when you get old and die.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A wife is scrambling eggs when her husband bursts into the kitchen.
“Careful,” he cries. “Careful! You’re cooking too many at once. Too many! Scramble them! Now! We need more butter. They’re gonna stick! Careful! Now scramble them again! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!”
The wife turns and asks, “What is wrong with you?”
Her husband calmly replies, “I wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “He’s not as tough as he thinks.” “Neither are we.”

ANSWER: The Sting! In this scene Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) and Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman) spot gangster Doyle Lonnegan (Robert Shaw) in a train station and are sizing him up in anticipation of running a confidence scam on him. Hooker makes the observation in the first line but Gondorff replies with the second line. “The Sting” won Best Picture in the 1974 Academy Awards. “The Sting” was the only other feature film Paul Newman and Robert Redford made together after they made “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” in 1969. Much of the music in “The Sting” is ragtime written by African-American composer Scott Joplin, around the beginning of the 20th century (with musical adaptations for the movie by Marvin Hamlisch). Jack Nicholson turned down the role of Johnny Hooker before Robert Redford changed his mind and decided to take the part.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “But what about us?” “We’ll always have Paris”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

In this teaser, you are to start with the word ‘HALF’, and then each time, change a letter to make a new word. You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘BACK’.

You must do this in four (4) turns.

Good luck.

HALF
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _

BACK

Answer:

HALF
HALE
BALE
BALK
BACK

Monday’s Quizzer is……

In this teaser you are to try and unscramble the set of letters in each set of brackets to complete these quotations. Good luck!

1. We may (FMFIAR) absolutely that (OHTNGIN) great in the (DWLOR) has been (DAECHCSOIMLP) without (NSPOAIS).

2. (ELVI) as if you (ERWE) to die (WTMOROOR). (NLREA) as if you were to (LIEV) (ORERVEF).

3. The way to get (DSETRAT) is to (UQTI) (GLATNIK) and (NBEIG) (ODGNI).

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

http://www.amazon.com

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store