Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday August 30, 2018.

Top ten rules for chocolate.

1. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

6. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.

7. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

8. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. 😐

9. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

11. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

12. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“Last week, Twitter introduced a ‘quality filter’ that gets rid of tweets that contain spam, mean, or unwanted content. An hour later, Twitter filed for bankruptcy.” -Conan O’Brien😁

“Police in Australia are searching for a group of men seen releasing live crocodiles into a school building. Though, if you ask me, they should probably be searching for the crocodiles.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put it, ‘I was afraid of that.'” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read,
“Big Lobster Tales, $5 each.”

Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the
waitress, “Five dollars each for lobster tails — is that
correct?”

“Yes,” she said. “It’s our special just for today.”

“Well,” he said, “they must be little lobster tails.”

“No,” she replied, “it’s the really big lobster.”

“Big red lobster tails, $5 each?” he said, amazed. “They
must be old lobster tails!”

“No, they’re definitely today’s.”

“Today’s big red lobster tails — $5 each?” he repeated,
astounded.

“Yes,” she insisted.

“Well, here’s my five dollars,” he said. “I’ll take one.”

She took the money and led him to a table where she invited
him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand
on his shoulder, leaned over close to him, and said, “Once
upon a time there was a really big, red lobster…”😐😱😁😎

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“You are such a boor.” [he misunderstands her comment, i.e., the following spelling change is correct] “A boar? I am no boar!”

ANSWER: Tom Jones! In this scene London resident Miss Western (Edith Evans) encounters her country farmer brother (Hugh Griffith) sprawled on a haystack and says the first line. He misunderstands her comment and replies with the second. She considers him an uncouth country bumpkin. He considers her a citified busybody. This hilarious movie tells the story of Tom Jones (played as a young adult by a young Albert Finney), a child of unknown parentage who is raised as a gentleman in 18th century England. In the 1964 Academy Awards “Tom Jones” won four Oscars, including Best Picture.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“I seen a wolf in everybody I ever met and I see a wolf in you.”
“Like a wolf, huh? You never seen a wolf in your life”

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

What is the following item?
door odro ordo rood rood ordo odro door

Answer: Revolving door!
The letters change in each representation of the word door as if it were an actual door turning around

(you are looking at it from side on as opposed to top down). NOTE: the two rood’s are to allow for the

two o’s changing position in the middle as the r and the d do… It’s not perfect, but it is a representation of the movement.

Thursday’s Quizzer is……

For each of the following four words, come up with another English word that uses all THE SAME letters but in a different

order. The four words you come up with will rhyme with one another.

ONSET
NEWS
WRONG
HORNET

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

http://www.amazon.com

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store