WELCOME to Tuesday September 4, 2018.
* At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
* In a New Hampshire jewelry store: “Ears pierced while you wait.”
* In an New York restaurant” Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
* On the wall of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.” “– Sisters of Mercy”
* On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store: “Thirty-eight years on the same spot.”
* In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”
* On a movie theater: “Children’s matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child.”
* In a Florida maternity ward: “No children allowed!”
* In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”
* In a New Hampshire medical building: “Martin Diabetes Professional Ass.”
* In the office of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”
* In a New York medical building: “Mental health prevention center.”
* On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”
“Astronomers at NASA are saying that they discovered a new Earth-like planet that’s only 4.2 light years away. I know, I reacted the exact same way as you did. I don’t know how far that is either.” -James Corden
“KFC has come out with a sunscreen that makes you smell like fried chicken. Of course if you want to smell like KFC, you could just ride around in any single guy’s car.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
“Doctor’s orders,” the man told his friend. “My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs.” “What about your wife?” the friend asked. “What did you buy her?” “A new lawn mower,” the golfer said.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “This could be the worst disaster NASA’s ever faced.” “With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour.” Choose the movie these quotes are in, from these multiple choices.
ANSWER: Apollo 13! This scene starts with an ominous transmission from the Apollo 13 spacecraft: “Houston, we have a problem.” The Houston command center realizes trouble on board the spacecraft may prevent its safe return to earth and the NASA Director (Joe Spano) says this first line. Optimistic co-worker Gene Kranz (Ed Harris) replies with the second line. This movie is based on the true story of the ill-fated 13th Apollo mission bound for the moon.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “What in heaven’s name brought you to __________?” “My health. I came to __________ for the waters.” “The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert!” “I was misinformed.”
Friday’s Quizzer is…….
The first electric toaster was invented in 1893 in Great Britain by Crompton and Co (UK) and re-invented in 1909 in the United States.
Otto Frederick Rohwedder invented the bread slicer, which he started working on in 1912. At first, Rohwedder came up with the idea of a
Friday’s Quizzer is……
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Fragmented; torn -> Lacking funds
2. Place of shelter; a refuge -> Possess; own
3. Community; village -> Pull behind
4. Paradise -> Throw with effort
5. Grass -> Set of rules imposed by an authority
6. Chess piece -> Clawed animal foot
7. Bedding, tablecloth -> A mark longer than it is wide
8. Baker’s number -> Sleep lightly
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#
Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store