Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

WELCOME to Wednesday September 5, 2018.

Funny Answers from Students on Music Exams
1. The principal singer of nineteenth-century opera was called pre-Madonna.
2. It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm.
3. Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.
4. Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
5. All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.
6. Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
7. A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
8. Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.
9. A harp is a nude piano.
10. The main trouble with a French Horn is that it is too tangled up.
11. An interval in music is the distance from one piano to the next.
12. The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to use a pitchfork.
13. Agitato is a state of mind when one’s finger slips in the middle of playing a piece.
14. Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you’d better not try to sing.
15. I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.
16. Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago.
17. My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.
18. Henry Purcell was a well-known composer few people have ever heard of.
19. Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced
on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“The owner of an ice cream truck named Snow Cone Joe was arrested for allegedly stalking his rival truck, called Mr. Ding-a-Ling. It’s being called the saddest turf war ever.” -Conan O’Brien

“A company in California has started selling a new cologne that smells like whiskey. I think my dad’s been wearing that cologne for 40 years.” -Jimmy Fallon😁

“A company called Dog Nation just launched an IQ online test for your dog. It covers understanding hand gestures and learning words. It’s actually a secret IQ test for humans. If you pay $60 to give your dog an IQ test, you failed.” -Jimmy Kimmel😎

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.

A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.

“No,” replied the gentleman, “my son just bought his first car and right now he’s getting ready for a big date. He’ll be taking the car out soon to pick up the girl.”

“So what’s with all the stuff?” asked the neighbor.

“Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him.” 😱😁😎

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “What in heaven’s name brought you to __________?” “My health. I came to __________ for the waters.”  “The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert!”  “I was misinformed.”

ANSWER: Casablanca!  In this scene American expatriate Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart), owner of Rick’s Cafe Americain nightclub in Casablanca, Morocco, is talking to Police Chief Captain Renault (Claude Rains) about why Rick came to Casablanca in such dangerous times. After the Nazis defeated France in 1940, they occupied northern and western France but left southern France and many of France’s colonies in Africa relatively free under the Vichy government. However, the Vichy French had to pledge allegiance to Hitler, which meant that technically, Captain Renault was Rick’s enemy, although they remained personal friends. Captain Renault asks line one, Rick answers with line two, a puzzled Captain Renault responds with line three and Rick lightheartedly responds with line four. “Casablanca” tells the story of how Rick runs into his old love from Paris, Ilsa Laszlo (Ingrid Bergman), and then persuades her to leave Casablanca with her Resistance leader husband Victor (Paul Henreid). When they first meet again in Casablanca, Rick has the great line, “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widges hanging out. Now that WOULD be worth 10 quid.” “Don’t be so bloody daft. We were just saying…”  “Widges on parade! Bring your own microscope!”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Fragmented; torn -> Lacking funds
2. Place of shelter; a refuge -> Possess; own
3. Community; village -> Pull behind
4. Paradise -> Throw with effort
5. Grass -> Set of rules imposed by an authority
6. Chess piece -> Clawed animal foot
7. Bedding, tablecloth -> A mark longer than it is wide
8. Baker’s number -> Sleep lightly

 

Answer:  1. Broken -> Broke
2. Haven -> Have
3. Town -> Tow
4. Heaven -> Heave
5. Lawn -> Law
6. Pawn -> Paw
7. Linen -> Line
8. Dozen -> Doze


Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

What is the next letter in this fairy tale sequence?

G, D, S, B, H, S, ??


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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