Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday September 7, 2018.

AVIATION 101….
Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.
 
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you
pull the stick back they get smaller. (Unless you keep pull-
ing the stick back – then they get bigger again)

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane
to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then
watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

It’s best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as
possible.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man – Landing
is the first.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with
the eagles by day.

Trust your captain …. but keep your seat belt securely
fastened.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing:
Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-
pilot is a copilot who once was a captain.

It’s easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start
with a large fortune.

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when
he’s flying, and about flying when he’s with a woman.

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he
can handle.

Remember, you’re always a student in an airplane.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number
of your takeoffs.

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on
the back.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a
fireplug what it thinks about dogs.

Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“Labor Day is over, so, get out your fall clothes, and then just put them away because it’s 100 degrees outside.” -Jimmy Fallon

“They estimate that more than 16 million Americans traveled by air over the holiday weekend. And here’s a fun statistic. They did a study. The germiest place at the airport, the place with the highest levels of virus bacteria, are those plastic security tubs at the TSA. Which is kind of surprising. I mean, who would have ever guessed that the tubs where a million sweaty travelers throw their shoes every day would be full of germs?” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Florida police are searching for a person who accidentally donated a duffel bag to a thrift shop that contained almost five pounds of marijuana. ‘This smells like weed,’ said customers about EVERY THRIFT STORE ITEM EVER.” -Seth Meyers


 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting  the priest turned to Chris and told him, “Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist.”

Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked what was wrong. “I don’t understand,” he said. “How can we have the ceremony without me?” 😐😱😎

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Mama. What’s vacation?”  “Vacation’s when you go somewhere… and you never come back.”

ANSWERForrest Gump! In this scene young Forrest Gump (Michael Conner Humphreys) is asking his mother why his father is absent from his life with line one, and Mrs. Gump (Sally Field) explains his father went on “vacation,” and then explains what that means with line two. The movie follows the life of low-I.Q. Forrest as he interacts with some of the most important people and events in America from the late 1950s through the 1970s and his encounters with the love of his life, Jenny (played as a young girl by Hanna Hall and as an adult by Robin Wright).

The scene where the adult Forrest and Jenny embrace in the water during a Vietnam War protest rally is one of the best “feel-good” movie moments I can recall seeing.
 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? You’re not going to use the story, Mr. Scott?”  “No, sir. This is the west, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

In each group below, the three words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can
figure out the missing letters in each group.
Example: plo___, tho___, to___ would be plough, though, tough.

1. eng___, f___, mar___
2. c___, car___, s___
3. ag___, g___, h___

 

Answer: 1. engine, fine, marine
2. cafe, carafe, safe
3. agave, gave, have


Friday’s Quizzer is…

You see me often ladies,
For I am a part of your life.
I sometimes bother babies
But prefer to cause adults strife.
My looks are a sign of your personality.
My strength cannot measure up to yours.
With most people I am there for eternity.
Onto me, water often pours.
Many look to me with pride,
While others wish to change me.
Drifting slowly, my time I bide
Waiting for you to see
That I am just a thing you’re given,
Not something very important.
For I have always been and will forever be dead.


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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