Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday September 10, 2018.

HOW TO WRITE GOOD….
Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know.”
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s
highly superfluous.
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.” ― Hillary DePiano

“An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy.” ― Madeleine L’Engle

“Humor can make a serious difference. In the workplace, at home, in all areas of life – looking for a reason to laugh is necessary. A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, enjoy the good times and manage the scary times.” ― Steve Goodier

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and a clock. I told the students that when it was a large timepiece on a wall and not attached to your body, it was called a clock. When it was worn on your body, it was called a watch.

A few days later we had a power outage, and our classroom clocks had not been reset. I asked Luis, who was wearing a wristwatch, for the time. Luis looked at his wrist, and

then confidently announced, “It is exactly ten o’watch.” 😐

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? You’re not going to use the story, Mr. Scott?” “No, sir. This is the west, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”

ANSWER: The Man who Shot Liberty Valance! In this scene newspaper reporter Maxwell Scott (Carleton Young) has finished listening to a story (told with flashbacks) by U.S. Senator Ransom Stoddard (James Stewart) as to who actually killed the town bully in the small western town of Shinbone named Liberty Valence (Lee Marvin). Legend has it that Senator Stoddard (then a young attorney) had killed him in a gunfight, but the story Stoddard has just told is that his friend Tom Doniphon (John Wayne) fired at the same time and that it was he who actually killed him. After the story is finished, the reporter crumples up his notes and throws the paper in a nearby stove. A surprised Senator Stoddard then asks line one and the reporter replies with line two. “The Man who Shot Liberty Valance” tells the story of an aging U.S. Senator who comes back to the town of Shinbone (where he had started out as a young lawyer) to attend the funeral of his old friend, Tom Doniphon. A local reporter smells a story and presses Stoddard for an interview. Stoddard then tells him the story of how Liberty Valence was really shot.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?” “Well, that would be hard to say, sir. They’re each outstanding in their own way.”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

You see me often ladies,
For I am a part of your life.
I sometimes bother babies
But prefer to cause adults strife.
My looks are a sign of your personality.
My strength cannot measure up to yours.
With most people I am there for eternity.
Onto me, water often pours.
Many look to me with pride,
While others wish to change me.
Drifting slowly, my time I bide
Waiting for you to see
That I am just a thing you’re given,
Not something very important.
For I have always been and will forever be dead.

Answer: Hair.
It often gets in your face (at least it does to girls).
Some babies are born with it, some are not.
You wash your hair often, and get it changed just as much.
This may sound a little too scientific, but hair is made of dead cells, just like your upper layer of skin.

Monday’s Quizzer is……

Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

1. s____ing (earth)
2. si____lk (felt reverent)
3. cam____e (chauffeur driven car)
4. s____way (bass; extreme)

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

http://www.amazon.com

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store