Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday September 14, 2018.

The question of the day is..”At what age does life really begin????😏

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out. Somebody told me that with each zero added to your age, something in your body changes. I’m not sure if that is good or bad but I do know that there are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two. You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along. Middle age is when work is a lot less fun — and fun is a lot more work. Statistics

show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Now isn’t that a great time for a guy to get those kind of odds? You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you. Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have

begun to grow in the middle. Can you say round? I can….

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started. You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before! The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit

it out. It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything. When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there. You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can’t remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down. Now what was I writing about? I can’t remember, but that’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND PEOPLE! And whatever you do,don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

Laugh, I tell you
And you will turn back
The hands of time.

Smile, I tell you
And you will reflect
The face of the divine.

Sing, I tell you
And all the angels will sing with you!

Cry, I tell you
And the reflections found in your pool of tears –
Will remind you of the lessons of today and yesterday
To guide you through the fears of tomorrow.”
― Suzy Kassem

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the
unusual findings he had made.

“For instance,” he said, “some whales can communicate at
a distance of 300 miles.”

“What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles
away?” asked a sarcastic member of the group.

“I’m not absolutely sure,” answered the expert, “but I bet
it sounds something like…

“Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!'”😐😱😁😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “You just shot an unarmed man!” “Well, he should have armed himself if he’s going to decorate his saloon with my [dead] friend.”

ANSWER: Unforgiven! In this scene aging Old West gunslinger William Munny (Clint Eastwood) is confronting Sheriff “Little Bill” Daggett (Gene Hackman) and some residents of the town of Big Whiskey in the saloon of “Skinny” Dubois (Anthony James). Munny’s long-time friend, Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), has just died under intense questioning by Sheriff Daggett, and his body has been displayed outside Skinny’s tavern with a sign that reads, “This is what happens to assassins around here.” (Ned was accused of killing some cowboys who cut up a whore, but he wasn’t guilty.) An incensed Munny shoots Skinny with a shotgun while the crowd cowers. Sheriff Daggett then says line one and Munny replies with line two (although I added the word “dead” for clarity).

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Stop chasing me!” “I can’t stop, it’s my job.”

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

“She” is a word that contains two personal pronouns: she and he. What five-letter word

beginning with “U” contains four personal pronouns?

Answer: usher: us, she, he, and her

Friday’s Quizzer is……

There once was a family of spies. One of them is celebrating his birthday, and the Mommy spy gave him gifts.

The celebrant did not say anything; instead he gave this set of words:

toes
heat
ambition
nose
kiss
see
for
oneupmanship
route
tough

And because the family are spies, the Mom understood the message.

What was the message?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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