WELCOME to Tuesday September 18, 2018.
“It was reported this week that scientists from the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence or SETI have detected a signal from a distant star, and they think it could be proof of alien life. Scientists say this could be the sign of a highly advanced alien civilization. While the aliens say, ‘We attack at dawn.'” -James Corden
“A man in New York yesterday bought a $10 million winning lottery ticket while at a convenience store to buy treats for his dog. Which came as a major disappointment to his dog. ‘You didn’t get the treats?'” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?”
The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, told him Vegas was that-a-way and sent him on his way.
The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane…only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night.” 😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Nice move! Always leaving the water running. Now we know each and every house that you’ve hit.” “You know, we’ve been looking for you guys for a long time.” “Yeah? Well remember, we’re the wet bandits. The wet bandits. W-E…” “Shut up!”
ANSWER: Home Alone! In this scene (at the end of the movie) Chicago police have arrested burglars Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern), and are about to put them in the back seat of a squad car. Officer 1 says line one, Officer 2 says line two, Marv says line three, and Harry, who thought leaving the water running at houses they burglarized was a dumb idea, angrily kicks Marv and shouts line four. “Home Alone” tells the story of eight-year-old Kevin McAllister (Macaulay Culkin), whose large family accidentally leaves him behind when it rushes to the airport to go to France for their Christmas vacation (the evening before they left, Kevin had been sent to the attic for misbehaving). Kevin prepares to spend Christmas alone, but becomes aware of two house burglars casing his neighborhood.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Watch what I can do. Come on. It’s alright. Look. The water’s stiff.”
Monday’s Quizzer is…….
1. Iron + M + Iodine + Nickel + Neon
2. M + Arsenic + Copper + Lithium + Neon
3. Iron + M + Aluminum + E
4. Tungsten + Oxygen + M + A + Nitrogen
5. Germanium + Nitrogen + Thallium + E + M + A + Nitrogen
6. Lanthanum + Dysprosium
All of the words describe females or males.
Tuesday’s Quizzer is……
pu_ _ le
g_ _ let
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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