Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday September 27, 2018.

“Men or Women are like… you decide for yourself who goes where! 
Men or Women Are Like…
1….placemats, they only show up when there’s food on the table.
2….mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
3….bike helmets, they’re good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
4….government bonds, they take so long to mature.
5….copiers, you need them in reproduction but that’s about it.
6….lava lamps, fun to look at it but not all that bright.
7….bank accounts, without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
8….high heels, they’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
9….curling irons, they’re always hot and always in your hair.
10..mini skirts, if your not careful they’ll creep up your legs.
11..handguns, keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A WONDERFUL THURSDAY PEOPLE!
And whatever you do,don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Starbucks yesterday announced plans to build 10,000 eco-friendly stores by 2025, which means America will have to add more street corners.” -Seth Meyers

“Weight Watchers announced it’s changing its name. They’ve changed their name to ‘Screw It, Have the Fudge.'” -Conan O’Brien

“There are lots of foreign leaders here in New York City for the U.N. It’s that special time of year when New Yorker’s get road rage, then realize they just flipped off the king of Norway.” -Jimmy Fallon


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday
morning when the loud-speaker announced:

“Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Knock
off all unnecessary work.”

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily
routine, was confirmed with this announcement:

“Resume all unnecessary work.”😐😁

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “He hates these cans, stay away from these cans.”

ANSWER: The Jerk! Navin (Steve Martin) finds his name in the phone book and says “Page 73 – Johnson, Navin R.! I’m somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity – your name in print – that makes people. I’m in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.” Sadly, the sniper picks Naven randomly from the phone book as his victim. The 1979 film, “The Jerk”, is a very funny film where Steve Martin is raised by a poor black family and decides he is going to make something of himself. In this scene, Navin R. Johnson is working at a gas station. A sniper is shooting at him, but misses and hits some oil cans. Navin exclaims aloud “He hates these cans, stay away from these cans.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk”.

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Each of the clues below describe a famous pair (example: Salt & Pepper). Can you name each pair?

1. Jingly sound makers & accompanying sounds heard on the Seven Dwarfs commute
2. Corny phrase used by photographers & thin crisp wafers
3. Small spherical play toy & a letter propagated to many people threatening bad luck unless forwarded
4. Mayberry’s deputy sheriff & hollow round percussion instrument
5. A cheery, cheerful or joyous disposition & a unit of company stock
6. Long slender conifer leaf & message board continuous chain of postings
7. Kevin of “Six Degrees” trivia fame & chicken predecessors
8. Writing implement loaded with ink & bank employee that receives or pays out money
9. A paste made from ground goober peas & sweet spread prepared from Concord Grapes

Answer: 

1. Bells & Whistles
2. Cheese & Crackers
3. Ball & Chain
4. Fife & Drum
5. Sonny & Cher
6. Needle & Thread
7. Bacon & Eggs
8. Penn & Teller
9. Peanut Butter & Jelly



 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

What phrase does this represent?

ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO MUFFIN THE CAT
– shot at, survived
– almost drowned, survived
– poisoned, survived
– hit by a car, survived
– fell off a cliff, survived
– stuck neck too far into situation she wasn’t involved in, died





LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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