Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday September 28, 2018.

ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND PEOPLE!

And whatever you do,don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“I realized that the good stories were affecting the organs of my body in various ways, and the really good ones were stimulating more than one organ. An effective story grabs your gut, tightens your throat, makes your heart race and your lungs pump, brings

tears to your eyes or an explosion of laughter to your lips.”
― Christopher Vogler

“There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I’ll cry.” ― Bob Newhart

“Best friends are treasures. Hug them for their caring. Applaud their accomplishments. Laugh with them gratefully.” ― Amy Leigh Mercree

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.

Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, “Have any of the items you plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?”

The young mother replied honestly, “The luggage, no; the children, yes.” 😱😁😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk”.

ANSWER: The Sixth Sense! The quote “I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk” comes from the famous opening scene to the movie, “The Sixth Sense” (1999). The quote is referring to the way Malcolm’s voice sounds unstable and out-of-it when he is drunk, kind of like Dr. Seuss’s voice. Malcolm and Anna are having a romantic evening in their room when they realize they’re not alone. Malcolm is shot and the movie starts off with Malcolm trying to help Cole (Haley Joel Osment) sort out his issues with ‘dead people’. Malcolm is portrayed by Bruce Willis, and the film wasnominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“You’re spoiled, vengeful and bloody! Your poetry is sour and your music is worse.”

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

What phrase does this represent?

ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO MUFFIN THE CAT
– shot at, survived
– almost drowned, survived
– poisoned, survived
– hit by a car, survived
– fell off a cliff, survived
– stuck neck too far into situation she wasn’t involved in, died

Answer: Curiosity killed the cat.
This means that sometimes curiosity is a bad thing.

Friday’s Quizzer is……

Once again, the Booker Prize panel are sitting. And again an excerpt from a book has some key words missing.
Can you fill in the blanks so the story makes sense and also spot the connection between them?

Mr. Ix was speeding through the streets of Wimbledon, when he was pulled over by a police officer.
“It isn’t my ____!” wailed Mr. Ix noisily.
“It ____ you right,” replied the officer.
“Will it come to ____?” Ix inquired.
“If you keep up this ____ it will,” the officer replied severely.
“It is not as if I gained any ____,” Ix said ____edly.
“I would ____ to ____ you off with a caution,” admitted the officer, “but I can’t allow you through the ____ on this one,” he continued.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD. SUPER SOLVING JOB KIM! 🙏🙏🙅🙇

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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