WELCOME to Thursday October 4, 2018.
•You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.😱
•The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
•Your family buys Pepto B and Tums in bulk.
•The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
•You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and
the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
•Your food melts plastic and silverware.
•The dog goes to the neighbors’ to eat.
•All your baked goods have the names “asphalt” or “Hockey puck.”
•There are bones in your toast. 😐
•All you cook seems to be left overs.
•The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
•Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every
time they hear the fire alarm.
•The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with
large bright red ‘biohazard’ symbols.
•Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine
days old tastes like.
•There’s no such thing as an unusable leftover.
•You really have messed up a salad.
•The family pets are no where to be found during dinner….😏
•Around dinnertime, the family seems really interested in
going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing
the health inspection.
“Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic
scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they
can master parallel parking.”
“Sanity is a madness put to good use.”
“I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a
splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for
themselves.” –Bruce Grocott
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter’s indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department.
How do you know that?” I asked.
“Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?” she said.
Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “But Delta’s already on probation.” “They are? Well, as of this moment, they’re on *double, secret* probation!”
ANSWER: Animal House! In this scene Faber College Dean, Vernon Wormer (John Vernon), discusses with Omega fraternity house president, Greg Marmalard (James Daughton), about how to get rid of Delta house, notorious for drunken parties, pranks and abysmally low school grades. Greg says the first line and the Dean then replies with the second. “Animal House” was filmed at and around the University of Oregon in Eugene, OR. The President of the University had denied permission for the 1967 movie “The Graduate” to be filmed there, and he liked that movie so much when it came out that he decided he didn’t want to miss another opportunity.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “The Grey Hair’s children were under Magua’s knife but escaped. They’ll be under it again.” “Why do you hate the Grey Hair, Magua?”
Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….
8 + 8 = 91
Answer: Look at it upside down. 16 = 8 + 8.
Thursday’s Quizzer is……
1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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