Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday October 8, 2018.

Perks for the Over 50 Crowd.

1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3) No one expects you to run into a burning building.

4) People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6) There’s nothing left to learn ‘the hard way’.

7) Things you buy now probably won’t wear out.

8) You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.

9) You can live without sex but not without glasses.

10) You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.

11) You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

12) You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

13) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

14) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

15) You sing along with the elevator music.

16) Your eyes won’t get much worse.

17) Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

18) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

19) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

20) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

21) You can’t remember who sent you this list.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A GREAT MONDAY PEOPLE! And whatever

you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Just when you think you have hit bottom, someone tosses you
a shovel.” –Anonymous

“Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to
recognize a mistake when you make it again.”
–Franklin P. Jones

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
–Lily Tomlin

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a
necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life
through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and
that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.”
–Dr. Seuss

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A telephone repairman was working late in a big office
building and became lost.

After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an
exit, he spotted a woman at the end of a corridor.

“Excuse me, can you tell me how do I get outside?” he asked.

“Dial 9,” she replied.😐😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“He has a knife.”
“That’s not a knife. THAT’S a knife.”

ANSWER:Crocodile Dundee! In this scene Crocodile Dundee (Paul Hogan) is enjoying a visit from Australia to New York City to visit the newspaper reporter who wrote a story about him (Linda Kozlowski). While taking a walk they are confronted by a mugger (Tony Holmes). She whispers the first line, but he pulls out a gigantic Bowie knife and says the second. The mugger beats a hasty retreat. In the 1987 Academy Awards “Crocodile Dundee” was nominated for Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen but lost to “Hannah and Her Sisters.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“What knockers!”
“Oh, thank you doctor.”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

What saying is seen here?

Mary
Sue
Jane

LAW

Bob
Fred
Jim

Answer: No man is above the law.

Monday’s Quizzer is……

Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided.

1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store