Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

car-accident-grandpas-pants-grandma
WELCOME to Tuesday October 9, 2018.

Here’s a story for everybody out there who thinks he or she is having a bad day! A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the
paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home.

Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl, while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street.

While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm – Taken from a Florida Newspaper. STILL HAVING A BAD DAY? Just remember, it could be worse….. count your blessings!
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY PEOPLE! And whatever
you do,don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“There is also laughter in life. Laughter is a lovely thing—to laugh without reason, to have joy in one’s heart without cause, to love without seeking anything in return. But such laughter rarely happens to us. We are burdened with sorrow; our life is a process of misery and strife, a continuous disintegration, and we almost never know what it is to love with our whole being….”
― Jiddu Krishnamurti
 
“I like to walk in the rain, because it makes me laugh when I walk under it. And not many things in this life can make you laugh just to be touched by it.” ― C. JoyBell C.
 
“It’s important to take life very seriously. That is why we must laugh at every opportunity.” ― Jamie Arpin-Ricci
 
“The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed”
― Nicolas Chamfort

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven’s
door, Not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its
decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and
gasp– the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics,
the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch
money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor who never said
anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell, was
sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.

I nudged the angel, “What’s the deal? I would love to hear
your take. How’d all these sinners get up here? God must’ve
made a mistake.

And why’s everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue.”

“Hush, child,” said he. “They’re all in shock. No one thought
they’d see you.”😐😱😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

“What knockers!”
“Oh, thank you doctor.”

ANSWER: Young Frankenstein! This scene is typical Mel Brooks’ humor (he was the director and co-writer of the screenplay). Doctor Frankenstein (Gene Wilder) is holding his well-endowed young lab assistant Inga (Terri Garr), who is wearing a low-cut dress. When he comments with the first line on some over-size doorknockers on the castle doors, she replies with the second. In the 1975 Academy Awards “Young Frankenstein” was nominated for two Oscars but didn’t win either.

In the scene where Dr. Frankenstein and the monster (Peter Boyle) are dancing with top hats and canes (the “Puttin’ on the Ritz” scene) it is Boyle who came up with a strangled version of “Puiinin on da reeez!”

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“You don’t wanna marry me.”
“Why don’t you love me, Jenny? I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”

TODAY’S TRIVIA GODDESS AWARD OF THE DAY GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! 🙏🙏🙇🙇🙅

Monday’s Quizzer is…….

Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided.

1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)

Answer:  1) packet, picket, pocket
2) state, stale, stare
3) ballet, pallet, mallet
4) chapter, charter, chatter

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

The following is an advertisement for a common item. The ad agency, however, is trying to entice buyers by making
the item sound more impressive than it really is. Can you tell what is being sold here?

DEFY GRAVITY!
As you command water – or any liquid – to flow upwards! Could you be tampering with the secrets of the Earth?

Your friends will be amazed! Just $1.99.



LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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